Dead and Gone
by sonicarutha
Summary: The heat of war rages around all of them as Hisagi and Renji try to keep the peace. Yet as they fight a war against all that had tried to kill them before, life as they know it is in jeopardy. Sequel to Kaleidoscope.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Dead and Gone  
**Pairings:** This chapter contains references to: Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, some language, a lot of blood, and war. There are also a few errors in here that I most likely didn't catch.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Ukitake looked out the window as he heard the rain start to fall up against his window, his heart breaking as he took a deep breath. It had only been a few hours since he had sent the army away to Hueco Mundo, only a few hours since Ikkaku walked into his office and told him that they were gone. He closed his eyes tighter as he tried to take it all in. War was waging around them, war was going to destroy all of them.

He could still feel Yamamoto breathing down his neck; he could still feel his sensei's gaze upon him, trying to oversee everything that he was doing. If Yamamoto was still alive what would he say as he saw the way the Ukitake had destroyed the Soul Society? When Yamamoto would have killed Hisagi after the transplant, Ukitake promoted him like nothing had happened.

He then heard a knock on the door, his attention turning to the noise. "Come in," he expected it to be Ikkaku; he was surprised as he saw no such person. His heart stopped as he saw who it was, everything starting to sink in. "Hinamori-taichou? What brings you here?"

The 5th Division captain walked into the room, a hollow look within her eyes as she sat before the soutaichou. "Ukitake-soutaichou…" she breathed as she avoided his eyes. "The war… is there any word on how this war is going?"

Ukitake sighed, he could feel her pain. "Hinamori…"

"Any word whatsoever? A whisper? A thought? Anything on how this is all going? Please," she closed her eyes. "It hasn't been that long but I can feel flucuations in his reiatsu…"

"He's in another dimension…"

"I can feel them… I can feel fluctuations," Hinamori was on the verge of tears. "I came here to ask you what's going on. Do you have any communication with them?"

Ukitake shook his head. "I can't be sure what will happen to them until they return or they send a messenger…"

Hinamori bowed her head. "But…"

"It's going to be alright Hinamori-taichou," he looked deeply in her eyes. "There's nothing to fear. Hisagi-kun is strong that's why I sent him. Not to mention, the hollows may get confused, feel Aizen's presence within him and let him get deeper into there to find any information about what Aizen was doing…"

He looked at her again; none of this was comforting her. How could it? How could he tell her that everything was going to be alright when Hisagi had the seed of the devil within his chest? He closed his eyes as he thought about the conversation that he had with Renji before he left.

"_If he shows any sign of transforming into Aizen, you'll have to destroy him…" Ukitake sighed as he looked away from Renji's eyes which had doubled in size. "You have to kill him while he's still Hisagi Shuuhei. We can't disrespect him by letting Aizen take him over for even a second."_

_Renji swallowed hard as he looked at Ukitake shaking his head. "Surely there's another…"_

"_No! You have to kill him while he's still Hisagi. You have to do it Abarai, those are your orders."_

_Renji closed his eyes as his heart was breaking. "I will…"_

Ukitake had doubts, such doubts about how this was all going to turn out. Did he make the wrong choice sending Hisagi? Was he putting him in terrible danger by throwing him in Aizen's territory? All of it aside, he had to make the choice, but even so he still felt the fear rolling within him. He could still feel the guilt of sending him

"If I hear anything, I'll tell you," Ukitake smiled. "Until then… you're going to have to do whatever it takes to keep your spirits up…"

Hinamori shook her head. "I don't know… I just don't know…"

Ukitake closed his eyes as he knew that everything was happening for a reason. He was going to restore the order that Yamamoto had always wanted. All he needed to do was rid them of the threat that Aizen was posing. But the war did not have the response that he had wanted. Captain upon captain had come in asking him for news on the war and he told every one of them the same thing: he didn't know. He closed his eyes as he knew the uproar was only starting. This was just the tip of this iceberg.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The lieutenants sat around a table as they all were silent none of them looking at each other. The silence was deafening, none of them wanting to talk about the situation that they were in, no one wanted to mention the fact that they were at war. No matter what happened, they could still feel the pressure of Aizen on top of them, suffocating them. The subject of Aizen and the fact that he could be resurrected was something that no one had wanted to talk about. It was their place to hold their tongue. That was captain business.

That changed when Ikkaku opened his mouth.

"Is this what our meetings have been reduced to? A memorial service for the fallen captains?"

"They haven't fallen yet," Yumichika scoffed. "Have more faith in them!"

"How can we have faith in them if we aren't even sure if they're going to make it?" Ikkaku asked. "They're just kids. Those kids are going to get themselves killed and there's nothing that we can do about it."

"He has a point," Iba breathed. "Hisagi wasn't doing to well before we sent him. He's not in the right state of mind, not to mention, there's a chance that Hisagi could be overtaken by Aizen himself."

"And that's why we're all so grim?" Yumichika asked. "War isn't always the beginning of sorrow and death. Battle doesn't always mean bloodshed."

"And you used to be in the 11th Division?" Iba asked. "You know damn well, first hand that battle can only lead to more death. The two of them are going to get themselves killed. I don't know what Ukitake was thinking, but whatever it is, he knows that at least one of them will die."

Matsumoto slammed her fist up against the table. "Are you jinxing them, Iba? Are you saying that you want Hisagi to die? Are you saying that you think that Ukitake-soutaichou lead him to his death? You know how your captain would take to that."

"Taichou never wanted Hisagi to go in the first place. He made a promise that he was going to protect him no matter what. Tousen would never have let this happen if he were still here. Especially in Hisagi's condition… with that heart in his chest…" Iba explained, his heart sinking in his chest with every syllable.

"You're saying that he's going to die just because of that?" Matsumoto asked. "After everything that's happened…"

"What's happened? He's been completely safe from harm and now he's been thrown into the danger zone and for what? For all of us to be able to sleep better at night? Who has actually been sleeping better since they left? God knows Komamura-taichou hasn't…" Iba explained.

"No one has taken it as hard as Hinamori-taichou…" Kiyone breathed.

"You're wrong," Sentarou continued. "There is one who has taken it even worse than Hinamori-taichou. Even though she is Hisagi-taichou's lover, I feel as though Kira-taichou has long suffered, and he has suffered greatly. He has become nothing more than a zombie, a shell of his former self, something that I never thought I would see him like this. He can't work, he can't sleep, he spends most of his time in the 9th Division these days, hell, he's even offered to take over Hisagi-taichou's work while he's gone…"

"Understandable," Rukia said from the corner. "Or have you all not noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Kiyone asked.

Rukia sighed, a blank expression on her face. "The love triangle. Hisagi-taichou wanted Hinamori-taichou from Kira-taichou, yet at the gala he was caught attached by the lips to Kira. Kira is finding it hard leaving it like that. They didn't really leave on the best terms."

Nanao shook her head. "Kira should be proud…"

"Of what?" Yumichika asked. "That is friend his going to die like a dog? No! Even dogs have more dignity than that. He is going to be murdered like cattle for a pointless cause. Ichimaru and Tousen have no doubt destroyed any evidence that Aizen might have left behind, this is a futile cause."

"Besides, we all know how your captain feels about Hisagi…" Matsumoto scowled.

"I don't agree with him. He makes the decisions. I have nothing to do with anything that he says in court!" Nanao answered.

"Do you agree with him?" Rukia asked.

"This is a great chance for Hisagi-taichou to get his prestige back," Nanao continued. "This is his chance to become the captain that Yamamoto-soutaichou always wanted him to be."

"What does it matter to you as long as Renji comes back, Kuchiki?" Ikkaku asked looking at Rukia. "You don't even care about Hisagi. You come to these meetings to see if we have anything more on Abarai, you could care less if Hisagi got murdered!"

The arguments had broken out every week as they waited for a messenger, for some sort of sign that they were going to come back alright. But throughout everything, they had no one to blame but each other, they had no one to lash out at but all of the other lieutenants. They didn't have the same authority as the captains; they were not so high in the chain of command that they would be told by the soutaichou himself, they were going to have to wait for their own captains to tell them what had happened to their captains.

All of them had someone in the war that they cared about. All of them had to watch as their captains waited for the war to be over, for some hope that they were going to survive the night. They all were waiting for the day when everything would change, the day where there would be no more fear.

"This isn't doing any good!" Matsumoto announced. "Yelling at each other? We're a team. We're here to discuss how we can get out of this situation. Our captains are suffering. Our captains are falling apart. We have to be the ones who stay strong throughout all of this. We have to be the ones to get all of the work done. We have to be the ones that they can lean on."

Matsumoto closed her eyes as she ran her fingers along her neck. Her necklace was gone and the only reason why she would ever want to see it again was if both of them returned alive and well. She closed her eyes and waited for the day that they would return. Their hope would come back.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked through the halls of Las Noches, sword in his hand as several members of the 2nd Division were behind him. So far there was nothing there. There was nothing to advert them from their goal of getting deeper into the palace. Only a meager amount of hollows stopped them from the entrance, all of them being easily eliminated from their path. Now inside the walls, they moved quickly, waiting to find something that would stop them.

"Do you think that the Espada still exist, taichou?"

"No," Hisagi breathed as he rested his back against the wall before turning the corner. "I wouldn't doubt that Tousen and Ichimaru destroyed all of them when they came back. No, what we are to face is far worse than any Espada…"

"What is that?"

Hisagi gritted his teeth. "Angry hollows waiting for Ichimaru to come back so they can settle the score…"

He closed his eyes as he ran his fingers along the necklace that was around his neck. He had made a promise that day; the words that he had said were still rolling through his mind like it was yesterday. He remembered the look in Matsumoto's eyes as she handed him the necklace, the sorrow in her voice as she watched them walk away. He never wanted to see that again. He never wanted her to feel that again. That promise was the only thing that was keeping her alive, it was only thing that kept her believing in him, that one day he would come back and he would finally be the old Hisagi Shuuhei that they had all known and respected. After all of the agony, he would finally be back in his place of glory.

"What do we do?"

"Wait," Hisagi whispered as he put a hand out in front of his troops. "I'll go…"

He walked around the corner and moved into the darkness hearing footsteps from the distance. Acting on instinct, he placed his hand on Kazeshini, his heart racing as he swallowed hard, moving closer to the footsteps in the darkness. His pulse raced to the point where he thought his heart would stop, every step sending chills deeper through his body. Slowly he pulled his zanpakutou out of its sheath, hearing some of the 2nd Division shinigami following him.

"Taichou!"

"Stay back!" Hisagi yelled as he pulled out his sword. "And be on watch… there's something in the room…"

In the dark, Hisagi could feel the hollow's presence in front of him, only to feel his sword being forced out of his hands falling across the floor to the darkest corner. His eyes tried to find what was attacking him only hearing the screams of hollows drowning out the cries of his squad as their bodies hit the floor.

"Run away!" he yelled as he looked around the room. "I'll take care of them!"

"Taichou!"

He moved to grasp his other zanpakutou, feeling claws dig deeply in his shoulder as he was pushed into a wall, his ribcage collapsing at the pressure. "Damn it!" he closed his eyes tightly as he felt his arm start to fall limp up against Kyouka Suigetsu, blood rolling down his arm as his heart started to race, his body filling with pain as the claw dug deeper, the shrieking starting to fade as his consciousness did.

"Taichou!"

He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, his hand shaking as he raised it to the hollow's chest. Pushing it out of the way, he only had a few seconds to act. He only had a moment to tilt the scale back in his favor. Lifting his left hand as his broken ribs pushed uncomfortable against his lungs, blood rolling through his lips as he tried to block out the urge to cough. He swallowed harshly as the warm sensation of blood rolled down his throat, his body shuddering, his body wanted to vomit, It wanted to fall down and die, but as the hollow moved closer to him, he knew there was only one moment to do this. This was his last chance.

"Hado 90: Kurohitsugi!" he closed his eyes as the hollow screamed falling to the ground, his vision starting to cloud.

"Hisagi-san!" he heard a voice scream, Renji coming closer to him. "Hisagi-san!"

He could feel Renji by his side, but he couldn't see him in the dark along with his failing eye-sight. "A-Abarai…"

"What happened?" Renji asked.

"This is tougher than I thought…" Hisagi breathed. "I had to use kidou level 90 for it to die…"

Renji could hear the strain in his voice; he could feel his body shaking as it was difficult to even breathe. "We need to get you out of here…" he lifted the captain's body off the ground. "Those of you who are still alive come with me. For those of you who can't walk get assistance now!"

Hisagi swallowed hard as Renji carried him down the hallway, his hand up against his chest a single surge of pain went through his heart. He fought the feeling of vomit. He fought everything that he could, but it was no use as a glut of blood spewed past his lips, Renji holding onto him tighter as he felt the warmth on his face.

"Hisagi-san!"

Hisagi shuddered as he felt his heart stop again, pulsations of pain going through his body. "A-Abarai… A-Aizen…" the next words almost stopped Renji's heart dead in his chest. "Aizen's in the palace…" he swallowed hard against the rush of blood rising in his throat. "He's here…"

Renji almost dropped Hisagi as he heard those words. Aizen was dead; they all saw Ichimaru kill him. They all saw Ukitake have the body burned. Aizen no longer had a body to call his own; he would be nothing more than shell of his former self. But as Renji felt the fluctuations in Hisagi Shuuhei's pulse, he knew that this war was going to get bigger than they had ever imagined.

"It's going to be alright…" Renji breathed as he looked at the necklace that was around Hisagi's neck remembering his promise to Matsumoto. "You're going to be alright."

Hisagi coughed. "He's in Las Noches," he shuddered in Renji's arms as the 13th Division captain held onto him tighter. "We can find what we're looking for if you just keep moving forward!"

"I'm not going to risk you!" Renji argued his grip on Hisagi tightening. "I can feel your reiatsu failing right now. You're fading fast; we need to get you out of here as quickly as possible."

"But Aizen!"

"He'll have to wait," Renji breathed as he looked down at Hisagi once they were in the light, blood covering his whole body, as more scarlet liquid rolled past his lips, falling to the ground. "You're no good to us dead…"

He held onto him tighter as Rikichi walked along Renji's side holding Kazeshini. This war was starting to get interesting…

* * *

This is the next installment in the _Falling Petals _universe. This is what happens between _Kaleidoscope _and my next story _Broken Wings_. This is going to be of moderate legnth (like ten chapters) and then we will move on. This is just to fortify the themes that occur in _Broken Wings_ as well as put more light on the Kira/Hisagi/Hinamori love triangle.

I recommend reading _Falling Petals _and _Kaleidoscope_ first.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (See profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairings:**This chapter contains slight Kyouraku/Ukitake and references to: Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, and non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:**There is also slight OOC, language, blood, war, some sexual themes, and reference to rape. There are also a few errors in here that I most likely didn't catch. This is also very late and I'm sorry for that.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Renji watched as Hisagi writhed as Isane touched his shattered ribcage, hearing the cries of pain pass his lips. The war was taking its toll on them worse than he had ever dreamed of. Every moment that had occurred had put both of them over the edge, neither of them knowing what to do as they went deeper into the castle, bit as he looked at the 9th Division Captain, he knew that he saw something.

Blood covered the room as it filled with Hisagi's ragged breathing, the 13th Division captain's eyes falling upon him as the lieutenant moved quickly. Outside, he could hear the men talking, the dull roar of the 4th Division healing the wounded. Renji closed his eyes tightly as he took it all in. Before him was Hisagi Shuuhei, the man that he had promised he would protect no matter what the cost. But today he knew that there was no guarantee that would happen.

"Are we going to run into another hollow again? Or are you going to wait for back-up?" Renji asked as he moved closer to Hisagi, seeing his body shake in pain, the sound of his ribs reforming filling the air, Renji's throat tightening in disgust at the noise. "There's only so many times that Isane can fix your ribcage before there's permanent damage… and you're already on heart number two."

"I know…" Hisagi breathed as the 4th Division lieutenant continued to be healed, his voice bubbling to a gurgling, dull roar. "It's just… we're getting closer…"

"The only thing I'm getting closer to is a heart attack. Every time I turn around, you're doing something that you shouldn't be," Renji sighed as he looked down at the wincing captain, seeing his dark eyes closed tightly. "I can see why Ukitake-soutaichou sent me with you… you're going to get yourself killed."

Isane looked up at Renji. "I don't think this is a hollow attack. I mean you say that you can't see them, right?"

"It's dark…" Renji answered quickly. "And don't encourage him. He thinks that it's Aizen in there, trying to kill all of us with only God knows what…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he took a deep breath, his body shaking as the inhalation caught in his throat, almost choking him as the sounds of his bones mending intensified. "I _know_what I felt. There are pulsations going through my chest. That means he's here… Komamura-taichou said that Tousen-san said that if my chest ever hurt, it's because Aizen is back…"

"Or your heart is failing…" Renji looked up at Isane, worry filling his voice as the subject was brought to light. "Is it?"

She shook her head. "His heart is perfect; there are no signs of any rejection or failure. I think he's onto something."

"Don't encourage him," Renji repeated as he stood up. "Aizen is dead. I was there when his body was burned. You were too, Isane! You can't tell me that you think that he's still alive…"

"Weirder things have happened," Hisagi answered, his eyes not looking at Renji's. "Abarai… we have to get deeper into that castle. In the heart of Las Noches is the answer that Ukitake-soutaichou is looking for."

Renji closed his eyes as he shook his head. "Hisagi-san, think about this. If you're right and it is Aizen in there, what makes you think I'm going to let you go there? Aizen probably wants his sword back. And when you hold sixty percent of his power in a single organ in your chest, he won't be able to even dream of getting Kyouka Suigetsu back… not without taking your whole body with it."

Hisagi sighed. "Then are you going to go alone?"

"I think it's wiser that way…" Renji responded as Isane's eyes fell on him. "You need a break anyway…"

The 9th Division captain shook his head. "It's too dangerous…"

Renji closed his eyes tightly as he thought about what as occurring around them. If Aizen was in there, if Hisagi was right, then sending him deeper into the castle was only going to put him in grave danger. As his eyes opened he looked at the necklace that was around Hisagi's neck.

"_Bring back the necklace; don't let it leave your neck until they day you return, or the day that you die."_

_Rangiku-san_, Renji closed his eyes tightly as he remembered that day. The lieutenant begged both of them to come back safely. In the heat of battle they would have to survive to finish the unsettled matters that they had escaped from. But as Renji looked at Hisagi, he knew that one of them was going to die during, all of this.

"_Look after him."_

"_I will…"_

And he knew that it was to be him. He looked around the area and knew that the next attack was going to be on his shoulders. His body shook as he took a deep breath; his life was ending right before him. In order to save the one that he had promised he would, he was to sacrifice everything that was important to him. As he knew that the war was now all on his shoulders, he could only think of one thing: Rukia.

"You can't sacrifice your life," Hisagi pleaded, his body shaking as he sat up. "You have more to lose than I do."

"How do I have more to lose? If Aizen is in there, and gets a hold of your body…" Renji's voice was on the verge of breaking. "We're all as good as dead… do you think that I want that on my conscience for the rest of my life? Hisagi-san… I would rather die than know that I could have saved you… the only reason I'm here is to save you."

Hisagi then mentioned what Renji never thought he would. "What about Kuchiki?"

Renji thought back to the moments before he had left. She had begged, pleaded, done everything in her power to make him stay. Yet he still left her all by herself. He remembered the tears in her eyes as he walked away from her. Those tears were going to plague him with everything that he did, with every step he took. But as he looked at the captain he was conflicted with which promise to keep.

"What would you do, if it was between saving me and coming back to Hinamori?" Renji asked as he looked deeply at Hisagi.

"I don't know," his answer was quick and almost silent.

"Rukia… she needs me… but…" Renji took a deep breath as Isane's attention fell onto him, her eyes not leaving for even a second. "I cannot ignore that Aizen is coming back… and it will only be a matter of time before he comes to the Soul Society to destroy everyone I know… everyone I care about. I can't sit back and know that I did nothing to save them, because I was too busy focusing on her to look at the big picture: the grand scheme of things."

Hisagi bowed his head as he heard those words. "Then you have given me no choice…" his body was shaking as his voice grew even more silent. "I have to let you go… but Abarai…" Renji never glanced away from him as his eyes filled with sorrow as he pleaded: "If you need me I won't be far behind…"

Renji looked at Hisagi Shuuhei. Only a short amount of time into the war, and already he was starting to break under the pressure. The two of them were slowly running out of options. As he turned away, he could feel the uneasiness within Hisagi as his breathing sped up. He walked further away as he tried to escape that noise. This was the path that he had chosen as he remembered a promise that he had made:

"_Look after him."_

"I will, Rangiku-san, I will."

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Have you gotten any word from the troops?" Kyouraku asked as he looked at the soutaichou.

Ukitake was looking out the window, thinking deeply about this situation. War was around them, the smell of death in the air. Kyouraku's words didn't seem to register in his mind as he fell faster into the overwhelming pool that was called being a leader. The captains all had their opinions about him, most of them not thinking highly of the situation that they were in. Kyouraku walked closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Ukitake," he breathed as the soutaichou looked over into the captain's eyes. "You need to relax."

"How can I relax?" he asked. "I just declared a war, not to mention the Kuchiki Clan wants me to step down," he shook his head as he looked out the window. "It's overwhelming, I feel so… useless. I feel like no matter what I do they're going to hate me."

"They only hate you because you don't rule with an iron fist like Yama-jii. He would never have let us get in this situation, yet it's his mess that you're cleaning up," Kyouraku's hand stayed on Ukitake's shoulder, trying to make him look away from the window. "Shirou… you're doing a fine job."

"It should be you in my place," Ukitake answered softly.

"Me? If I was in charge this war wouldn't be happening. I'm not as passionate as you," Kyouraku's words, made Ukitake's eyes move away from the window to finally look at him, their gaze thick with tension.

"You think I'm passionate?"

"Please, do you think anyone would have been able to pull this off? I'm lazy as hell, you know that. And none of the other captains could have done it. The only other ones who are even qualified for this job is Unohana-sempai, but she's stuck in the 4th Division because no one can heal like her, and then there's Kuchiki Byakuya and he's got his own problems to sort out right now," Kyouraku smiled brightly as he looked at the 1st Division captain. "Ukitake Juushirou, I never thought I'd see you doubt yourself…"

"That's why I have you I guess. You do everything I'm afraid to do," Ukitake took a deep breath as the hand tightened on his shoulder. "Shunsui… you're squeezing my shoulder."

"I know," Kyouraku smiled as he moved to brush some of Ukitake's white hair out of his face. "But it got you to look at me, didn't it? Got you to smile?"

Ukitake looked toward the window again. "So you don't agree with them? You don't think any less of me…"

"Ukitake, you could burn the whole Soul Society to the ground and enslave all of its inhabitants and I wouldn't think less of you," Kyouraku smiled as Ukitake giggled. "That's the first time I heard you laugh in a while."

Ukitake turned to look into Kyouraku's blue eyes again, his body shaking as his hand tightened on his shoulder. At that moment he felt safe, he felt as though there was nothing in the world that would ever hurt him. His heart slowed as he felt the pressure of his friend's hand pressing deeper into him, his dark eyes closing as he could finally breath, moving his own slender hand to touch Kyouraku's, tightly grasping it as Kyouraku wrapped his arm around Ukitake's body.

"If you get scared again, Ukitake, I'll be there to pick you back up," Kyouraku whispered in his friend's ear.

Ukitake glanced out the window again as he thought of the effects of the war. Hinamori had sought comfort wherever she could find it, spending most of her days with Hitsugaya as if she were trying to forget the chance that Hisagi could be dead. Rukia had buried herself in her work, preparing for her fiancé and captain to come back to her. But the one who had concerned him was Kira.

Kira had shut himself in the 3rd Division, sometimes going to the 9th Division just to remember what he had lost. The captain had submerged himself in the sorrow that the world was within and had cut himself off from anything else. He waited anxiously for Hisagi's return, something that had worried the soutaichou.

"Do you think it'll be okay," Ukitake asked, muffled by Kyouraku's shoulder.

"I do, Hisagi-kun and Abarai-kun knew what they were getting into," Kyouraku stroked Ukitake's back gently. "You don't have to get so nervous about this."

"I think that I do…" Ukitake breathed softly. "I really do…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi stood in the tent, holding the necklace in his hand as he paced back and forth. The pressure was finally catching up to him as the gravity of the situation got heavier. He took a deep breath as he looked up into the sky outside the tent, holding the necklace tighter. He could feel it in his chest, the burning sensations taking him over every time he looked at that castle. Something evil was in there. His fingers rubbed up against Matsumoto's necklace as he thought of the day that he left. He and Kira never left on good terms.

He could still taste Kira on his lips. He remembered back to that moment where the two of them were so carefree, where nothing seemed to be able to touch them; they were so far away from the pain that the world was burning within. At that moment, it seemed like no matter what everyone was going to be alright, that they were all going to survive. What he wouldn't give to go back to that moment.

As his fingers ran along the necklace, he thought to a time where he didn't have to prove himself to anyone. There was a time where he was respected, adored, almost worshipped, and in a single night he had taken that all away from himself, the blade still running through his chest, the hot metal making him melt on contact. That was the day when all of this happened, when he had to fight in a suicidal war in order to prove his worth to them, to prove that he was still the man who deserved all of their praise. As his fingers ran along the necklace, he knew that everyone was turning on him.

"Tousen-san…" he breathed as he looked deeper into the horizon. "What would you do if you saw me like this? Would you believe that it's still me? Would you recognize me as the lieutenant that was by your side for all of those years?" his hand wrapped around the necklace. "I'm nothing like that man anymore… Tousen-san."

He bowed his head as his body shook as he looked at his chest, ignoring the footsteps that entered the tent.

"Hisagi-taichou?" the voice of Isane filled the area. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he answered flatly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

The lieutenant walked forward. "Abarai-taichou has left to go into the palace and you're here alone. I know what you're feeling right now…"

"No you don't."

"I have a feeling I do. You feel as though you should be in the palace right now because you're the one with something to prove," Isane walked closer to him. "I know what you're feeling, taichou. You think you're better off dead."

"Aren't I?"

"No, Unohana-taichou knew for certain you wouldn't make it through the procedure, she did it because Iba-fukutaichou insisted on it. The odds were against you," he looked away from her. "You're here for a reason. You survived for a reason. Don't you want to know what that reason is?"

Hisagi sighed as he looked over at the lieutenant. "How can you say I'm alive for a reason? What reason could I possibly have to continue on like this? There's someone who hates me, who didn't want me to die…"

"Hates you? You should be grateful…" Isane answered softly. "I apologize for offending you in anyway, but you have to think about this. This is your chance to prove that you're not Aizen just because you have sixty percent of him within you. You're here to stop anything like that from happening ever again. If Yamamoto-dono was still alive, he would support you…"

"Yeah right…"

"He would, and Ukitake-soutaichou is supporting you every step of the way."

"Well he's wasting his time on me. Even his best friend doesn't want me breathing anymore. It's only a matter of time before they sway him," Hisagi's hand never left the necklace.

"He would never do that to you. He's going to stick this out to the end and as long as he's in charge, no harm will come to you from the other captains," Isane took a deep breath. "There's no need for you to feel down on yourself. You can't die, there's someone waiting for you back home…"

"There is isn't there?" Hisagi smiled as he licked his lips.

"Hinamori would be devastated if you didn't come back…"

"Oh… Hinamori, right…" Hisagi closed his eyes as she shook his head. "She'll forget about me soon enough. We didn't leave on the best terms… and I know that she's to seek comfort in someone else in my absence."

"And you're alright with that?"

"I'm not exactly innocent in that department, Isane," Hisagi sighed as he closed his eyes. "I can't get him off of my mind. I've never felt this way before…" he smiled as a nervous laugh passed his lips. "And now I'm boring you with my useless shit…"

"It's not useless, or shit," Isane smiled widely. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

"I know, and it's driving me up the wall. I've known him for decades and never…" his hand wrapped around the necklace. "I left for this war because of my conflicted emotions. I thought that some time away from them would help me, but all it has done is make me feel like dirt. No matter whom I choose someone close to me is going to get hurt…" he looked at the horizon seeing the moon shining in the sky. "Isane… I don't blame you for this. You did the right thing… I blame myself for being to stubborn to die…"

He bowed his head as he knew that the world was slowly falling apart from.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"_This isn't going to hurt much… just give up…"_

His eyes opened as he heard those words fill the room. Tonight he had gone back to the manor, the thoughts of that day plaguing him to no end. Now as night fell, the red sky finally turning into a black starry night, Kuchiki Byakuya closed his eyes as he felt those hands upon his skin again. That strength was wrapped around his neck as he was pushed to the ground hardly able to speak, his hands numb as the circulation cut off. He could feel those lips up against his skin. That day was upon him, not matter how many times he tried to forget it.

Breath was upon his neck as his body froze in pain, the chill from that day filling the room. His body shook as he could hear that man's voice over and over again in his ear, those hands slowly running along his flesh; he closed his eyes as he tried to forget all of it.

"Damn it," he hissed as his hands moved to his face as if to catch the tears that were so desperately trying to fall, but he couldn't let them.

He had lived up to the illusion that nothing had happened. He had convinced everyone that he was going to be fine. Yet he was dying alive, falling away from every one of them faster than he could even comprehend. Every day he sank slowly into a swamp of sorrow as he saw the hope and futures in the faces of others. There was no future for him. He was tarnished.

"Damn it," his voice was on the verge of breaking, keeping his voice to a whisper as to not alarm anyone. The first harsh breath left his lips, his body shaking as that day. It was going to haunt him forever. He closed his eyes as more breaths escaped his lips, ratcheted and harsh.

"_You don't wish to speak about it?"_

"_Would you?"_

* * *

This chapter had a lot of references to _Kaleidoscope _because these two pieces are very closely related to one another. This chapter also put a little more light on the war, Ukitake's reluctance to remain the soutaichou, and what happened to Byakuya the day that he was attacked. _Dead and Gone _is going to focus on those factors which will segue right into _Broken Wings_.

I know this was late, but I got caught up in other stories that I wasn't able to finish the second chapter for this, but enough excuses.

The next chapter will be about Renji's entrance into the castle and how that affects his life as well as the war.

The next chapter will also be up a little sooner.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (See profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.

And if you haven't already support this story in the poll on my profile for faster updates. Whichever story has the most votes gets the most time dedicated to its next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Pairings:**This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, slight Ikkaku/Yumichika, and references to non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:**There is also slight OOC, language, blood, war, some sexual themes, and reference to rape. There are also a few errors in here that I most likely didn't catch. But as promised, this is up sooner.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Renji moved deeper into the palace, thinking of all that he had left behind. He looked around the darkness of the castle as he took a deep breath. He didn't know what he was doing there; he didn't know what he was looking for. All he could think of was the look on Hisagi's face as he left him, the sorrow in his eyes as he walked off to his death. All he could remember was the necklace. He had made a promise to Matsumoto, Hisagi wasn't going to die.

But he then thought of Rukia. Why did he leave her all alone? He shouldn't be here fighting in this suicidal war; he should be back in the Soul Society with her, with the only one that he had ever loved. As he walked deeper into Las Noches, he could feel everything important to him being stripped away.

He then heard a low growl down the hall, turning to the noise. "Hello?" the growl only became louder as he walked toward the darkness. "Is there somebody down there?" he closed his eyes trying to hear the footsteps of his men, not knowing where they went of to. "Hello?"

He walked deeper into the darkness as he saw a pair of red eyes. _A hollow_. He grabbed the hilt of his sword as he walked slowly to the eyes, the growling filling his body with fear. He swallowed hard as he heard the monster come closer still. Was this what Hisagi was talking about? His body shook as the beast came into the faint light that Renji was standing in. What he saw he would never forget. There in the light was what used to be a shinigami, his eyes glowing red, harsh breathing emerging from his lips.

He stood there frozen in the presence of the man, the sound of the harsh breathing filling the air as he saw the fangs emerging from his lips. Renji closed his eyes tightly as the beast screeched, his fingers leaving the sword as he covered his ears to block out the noise. He was no longer in control of his body. He wanted to run, but he couldn't. He wanted to grasp his sword, but his arms wouldn't budge, he could only stand there as the man lunged at him, pushing him to the ground.

The man's weight on top of him pinned him to the ground as he hopelessly tried to escape, hearing more footsteps coming his way, not sure what they were. His body fell limp as he could feel he breath on his neck, his nerves on fire as he could feel the fangs close to his flesh. He let out a small wince as he heard the footsteps.

"Taichou!"

"Please don't come this way…" he whispered as he could feel the fangs push against his neck. "Please… don't come for me…"

"Taichou!" they were getting closer, as if they were following the screams.

Renji closed his eyes as he shook against the pressure of the beast's teeth. "Go away…"

At that moment, he could see a group of his men standing only a few yards away from him, his body shaking as he looked over at them. They were coming closer still as they saw what was about to occur: their commanding officer was about to die.

"Taichou!"

"Stay back!" Renji screamed as, the monster howled into the air, his body visibly shaking as he tried to break free, feeling the bruises forming on his wrists. "Don't come any closer."

They all stopped and at the exact moment the footsteps ceased, Renji felt a deep pain enter his neck: he had been bitten. He gasped in pain as the man started to suck from the wound, the group of shinigami staring wide eyed at the scene that was before them. Renji could feel the blood dripping down his flesh, his vision clouding from blood loss. He closed his eyes as everything started to become dark.

He could see it all slowly leaving him, all of the promises that he made slowly starting to fade away.

"_Look after him."_

He fell deeper into the darkness as all of the promises from yesterday went away, falling into the black. But as he kept plummeting to the end, there was one thought that was haunting him.

"_I was scared when I heard you became a captain. I knew something like this would happen. I knew you'd leave me…"_

"R-Rukia…" he took a deep breath as more blood rolled down his neck, the cries of the shinigami becoming nothing but dull roars. "I'm sorry…" a single tear left his eye as he remembered that day that he left her, those tears still haunting his memories. He was selfishly leaving her, just like she said that he would.

"Rukia…" as he fell into the blackness of lifelessness, all he could see was her face, and for that he was glad. _I love you…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia awoke as she felt a pain roll through her body, her flesh covered with sweat. "Renji…" she breathed as she looked around her. She could swear that she heard his voice, as if his spirit had gone through her and faded away. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she knew what had happened.

She fell back and closed her eyes tightly as she sobbed. All of her nightmares had come true. At that moment she knew that the unthinkable had happened. Abarai Renji was dead. She continued to sob as the sorrow filled her body, feeling the world crumble around her. All hope was lost.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi sat in the tent looking out at the sky; Renji had been gone for a while. He closed his eyes as he knew that the war was erupting around them, staying focused on Renji's reiatsu. He could find comfort in the pressure, knowing that he was alive was all that he needed to put all of his fear to rest. He wrapped his fingers around the necklace as he focused on it, sweat forming on his body as he felt the first fluctuation.

The pressure started to shake, becoming unstable, and then it seemed as though it was falling away from him, fading into the darkness. Tears formed in Hisagi's eyes as he tightened his grip on Matsumoto's necklace, the chain imprinting in his hands. He paced back and forth as his breathing became heavy.

"Please," he breathed as he kept moving, his hands shaking violently. "Come on, this is just a hiccup…" he closed his eyes tighter as his whole body began to shake. "Come on…" his voice started to shake.

And at the moment he felt it stop, his whole world freezing with it. His body halted, his knees buckling as he fell to the ground, his hands staying on the necklace. Tears fell as he took a series of deep breaths, his body beginning to shake. He attempted to pinpoint it again and again, only to find nothing. At that moment, he knew what had happened: Abarai Renji had been killed in action.

"God in Heaven…" he whispered as his body shook. "Abarai…" he looked deeper into the distance. "Abarai…" tears started to form in his eyes as he fell deeper into the ground. "Abarai!"

He moved as if he were crawling out of the tent, forsaking everything that Renji had said. He knew the danger, he knew that he was putting his life at risk, but he didn't care. Hisagi moved out of the tent struggling to his feet, sword in hand running toward the place where he had last felt the fading reiatsu.

His breathing became laborious as he moved closer to that point. "Abarai!"

0o0o0o0o0o0

The 1st Division ignited as Kuchiki Byakuya walked into the building, Ukitake sitting in the corner, his head bowed, his dark eyes looking deeply at the ground. As the footsteps echoed, the general looked up at the shuddering captain in the doorway, their gaze breaking as they both closed their eyes tightly.

"You felt it too, didn't you?" Ukitake asked, his voice shaking.

"How could I not? He might be in a different dimension but…" Kuchiki walked forward. "I know when something's gone wrong with him. Ukitake…" his voice shook violently as he looked down at the 1st Division captain. "Renji… he's… he's gone isn't he? We lost him…"

"Byakuya…"

"Fuck…" Kuchiki shook his head as his hands tightened into fists. "He's dead… isn't he? Isn't he, Ukitake?"

"I don't know…"

"Didn't you receive communication…" there was an amount desperation in Kuchiki Byakuya's voice that made Ukitake feel at unease, a tone that seemed totally alien to him. "Surely Hisagi…"

"Byakuya… enough…" Ukitake looked up at the 6th Division captain's eyes and saw something that he thought he never would.

They were swollen red as if he had been crying, his face covered with sweat and pale. He had been through hell. As Ukitake looked deeper into grey orbs he could see that it wasn't just Renji that had got him on edge, there was something else within him threatening to take him over. The 1st Division captain then knew that Kuchiki Byakuya was falling apart and there was no putting him back together. He closed his own eyes as Kuchiki moved closer to his corner.

"It's all falling apart, isn't it?" Ukitake asked, avoiding Kuchiki's gaze.

"When has everything ever been in one piece?" Kuchiki asked quietly.

"It's my fault…"

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is," Ukitake looked up at Kuchiki. "I started this war. I sent Abarai to his death. He's dead and I feel as though I killed him with my own hands."

"We're not even sure if he's dead. Maybe he got wounded…"

"I don't think so… I know there's something wrong…" Ukitake shook his head as Kuchiki moved to sit next to him. "You're staying?"

"Well I'm not going to leave when you're talking like that. I don't want you to do something stupid… something that I'm going to regret," Kuchiki was finally able to work up a smile. "After all, I have been one of the few captains supporting every move you make…"

"Not even Kyouraku supports me…"

"He supports you, damn does he support you," Kuchiki looked across the room to the door that he had walked through. "He just goes about it a different way. He knows that Aizen was the one who killed Genryuusai-dono; he's afraid that Hisagi is going to do the same to you. It's foolish and selfish, but I can see where he's coming from…"

"Are you afraid that Hisagi is going to do what Aizen did to you?"

"Stab me? Ukitake…"

"Not _that_," his voice was solid, not a single tremble within it as Kuchiki's eyes lit up, his body becoming stiff. "The _other_ thing."

Kuchiki shook his head. "Nothing else…"

"Byakuya… please. You can tell me what happened," Ukitake watched as the captain looked away from him, the conversation starting to disgust him, he moved his hand to gently touch the noble's shoulder hearing a hiccup in his breathing. "Byakuya… you know you've always been able to tell me everything. This shouldn't be any different."

"This is a little different than you teaching me how to fight, _sempai_," he took a deep breath. "What do you want from me: _blood_? Is that what you want? Me to bleed right here, right now?"

Ukitake shook his head. "No, that's no it. I want you to tell me what happened to you…"

"Even if I did tell you, if something _did _happen what exactly can _you_do about it, Ukitake?"

"I can help relieve you of all of the stress, all of the pressure. I can set your soul free from the pain that you're carrying. If you bottle it up, it's going to destroy you, and I can't sit here and watch you die. I've been watching you die since the day that Abarai cursed the heavens while hovering over your body. I don't want to see you die again, Byakuya," Ukitake's voice began to shake as Kuchiki closed his eyes tightly, his hand now on top of Ukitake's. "I'm not sure if I'm going to recover as well as I did the last time."

"Renji's gone…" Kuchiki bowed his head. "He's gone…"

"I've never seen you so emotional…"

"I was taught to conceal them," Kuchiki answered softly. "Yet now… ever since that day…" he paused as if trying to compose himself. "Ukitake… Renji's gone…"

Ukitake felt than hand tighten up against his as the first droplet touched the floor of the 1st Division. At that moment, Ukitake felt himself almost being pushed over the edge with Kuchiki. No matter what any of them did, no matter what any of them tried. They were going to be nothing more than heartache on this road that they were walking up. Their hands trembled up against one another and for the first time in almost a year, Ukitake didn't need to ask what had happened to Kuchiki that day: he knew.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Is your captain as overwhelmed as mine?" Yumichika asked as he looked into Ikkaku's eyes, seeing the 1st Division lieutenant looking elsewhere.

"Of course he is," Ikkaku shook his head. "I don't get it. Abarai? How could anything in Hueco Mundo get Abarai?"

"I guess we did jinx them," Yumichika shook his head as if trying to shake the thought from his mind. "How could we do such a thing to him? He was just a kid, Ikkaku."

"Abarai wasn't your average kid," Ikkaku closed his eyes as he took in the moment. "A damn shame that he's gone… he was one of the only people who was protecting Hisagi from doom. And now that he's gone…"

"Don't even think about that," Yumichika begged as he moved closer to the 1st Division lieutenant. "Don't utter a syllable. Hisagi-taichou is going to be alright."

"How can you be sure?"

"How can I be sure? I know because Aizen is the only one who can hurt him now, and he's dead. He's dead and you know those as well as I, Ikkaku," Yumichika closed his eyes as he turned away from his fellow lieutenant. "They'll come back… they'll find a way to save Abarai and they'll come back to us."

Ikkaku sighed. "I never thought I'd be worried about the kid. And I don't know why I am. Just because we all think something happened, that doesn't make it true. Abarai Renji is a fighter; he's not going to die there. I know he's not."

The two lieutenants looked out at the rising sun; everything was going to be alright. They honestly hoped that statement was going to prove to be true.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi ran toward Las Noches all by himself, not telling his men where he was going. He followed the pulsations that were surging through his heart, trying to pinpoint Renji's reiatsu. Every step bordered on desperation as he moved deeper into the chasms, the smell of blood in the air. He could hear harsh breathing, his heart slowing as he knew the sound didn't sound natural, it sounded completely animalistic. He stopped as the light ran out, blood and death sticking to the air.

"Abarai…" he closed his eyes as he walked deeper into the darkness, the breathing getting louder. "Abarai!"

He kept walking until light finally filled the chasm and in the center of the light laid his fallen comrade, in a puddle of his own blood. He moved forward until he saw what was looming over him. He looked like a man, blood dripping from his lips as he looked down at the fallen captain.

"Hisagi-taichou…" the man breathed. "Is that you?"

Hisagi swallowed hard. "Yes? What is it, soldier?"

The man looked up at Hisagi, the captain's body freezing as he looked deep into those red eyes, getting captured in the heavy breathing. Blood was dripping from his now exposed fangs; it was obvious what was occurring. Hisagi looked down at Renji, seeing the blood pouring from his neck into the puddle that was on the floor. His skin was pale white as his rust colored eyes stared blankly into the distance, pupils dilated. Hisagi looked back up at the man that in front of him. He was a monster.

"I'm still hungry, taichou…" he took a deep breath. "So very hungry…" he took a step forward. "Will you help me, _taichou_?"

Hisagi looked down at Renji's body, seeing the blood surrounding him, his reiatsu weakly echoing off of his body. _He's weak… if he's still alive… he's not going to last much longer. I have to think of something. Think, think!_

He grasped the hilt of his sword as he took a step forward as he felt Renji reiatsu grow smaller and smaller, the beast licking the captain's blood off of his lips. Everything slowed down as he took in this situation, his heart stopping as he finally drew his sword.

"Reap," he panted, his voice shaking. "Kazeshini!"

* * *

This chapter is the one that is going to make the biggest segue into _Broken Wings _as I am now introducing a new kind of villain (being what attacked Renji and Hisagi is fighting.) Also the fate of Renji is unknown although everyone thinks that he is dead, I guess you'll have to wait for what happens. And what happened to Byakuya will come into the light as well.

The next chapter will have all of the captains' and lieutenants' reactions to the incidents in Hueco Mundo as well as continue on with Hisagi's battle. And yes, it's going to include the first appearance of Kira this whole story.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feel free to review, your feedback inspires me to continue with my stories.

Also support this story in the polls to get faster updates.


	4. Chapter 4

**Pairings:**This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, Kira x Hinamori (I bet you thought that I was done with that pairing), Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kyouraku/Ukitake, and references to non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:**There is also slight OOC (the whole rape part is blown way out of proportion), language, blood, war, sexual themes, and HUGE reference to rape. There are also a few errors in here that I most likely didn't catch.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Rukia was sitting up in her bed, tears rolling down her cheeks, her arms wrapped around her as she tried to block all of her feelings out. Her heart broke as she tried to wrap her mind around what she thought had occurred. He could really have died? Could they have defeated Renji? She closed her eyes as the sobbing continued. She looked out the window to see the sun rising on the horizon. It was the first day without him.

"I had a feeling I'd see you staring blankly into the horizon," she looked over and froze in place as she saw who it was. "You always had a knack for acting like an idiot."

Her breath caught in her throat. "R-Renji, impossible. I felt you fade away… you're dead…"

"Am I?" he asked as he walked forward. "Rukia, Rukia, Rukia, do you believe everything that you feel?" he moved to sit next to her on the bed. "But I guess in this case you should believe it."

Her body shook as she heard those words. "You're gone, aren't you?"

He nodded. "I'm just a figment of the imagination of my heartbroken fiancée…" she closed her eyes tightly as tears rolled down her face. "Don't cry, Rukia…"

"How can I not cry? My dead fiancé is now appearing in my hallucinations," she looked over at him. "Renji… are you really… dead?"

"I don't know…"

"I can't lose you," she shook her head. "I won't lose you. After all that we've been through, I don't want to lose you…"

"If you wanted lose me, would you be hallucinating?" Renji smiled as he shook his head. "You really are dumb…"

Rukia moved to embrace him, his body as cold as ice. "Don't leave me, Abarai Renji. Please don't leave me…"

He backed away from her. "Tell Rangiku-san that I'm sorry I couldn't take care of Hisagi-san, and tell Kira… I'm sorry."

Rukia's body shook violently as she looked at her hallucinated fiancé. "I knew this would happen. I knew that when you became a captain I would lose you, Renji. Right now, I would give anything just to be where you are," she moved closer to him. "I feel like we just begun, and now…" she moved to brush a stray red hair out of his face. "And now you're being taken away from me…"

"Kuchiki Rukia," he breathed as he moved closer to her lips, his breath cold upon them, his whole body was death incarnate. "I will always love you, no matter how far apart we are. I'll always be with you…"

As he faded away, the tears filled her eyesight. "Renji… you fucking idiot…" she shook her head as she fell back onto the bed. "Renji…"

No matter how she wished and hoped, she knew it was no use. He was gone.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kyouraku walked into the first division seeing Ukitake and Kuchiki sitting in the corner together. The 6th Division captain's head was resting on Ukitake's shoulder, breathing gently as the traces of tears were still plastered on his cheeks. They were sitting in the corner together soundly sleeping, the two of them still hand in a hand. A smile came upon Kyouraku's face as he moved closer to the two sleeping shinigami, Ukitake starting to stir at the noise.

"My, my Shirou, this is different. I walk into a room and it's you who's in the awkward position," he smiled broadly as Ukitake's eyes started to open, hearing him take a deep breath as he came to. "Hey Ukitake…"

Ukitake looked into Kyouraku's blue eyes. "Kyouraku? What are you doing here?"

"I take it Byakuya got the message about Abarai-kun," the 8th Division captain shook his head as he looked at the sleeping shinigami. "And now I learn that he drools. You learn something new everyday that goes by."

"Byakuya hasn't been feeling well lately, Shunsui, you know that as well as I do," the soutaichou took a deep breath a he brushed the black hairs off of his shoulder, Kuchiki barely stirring. "He hasn't slept soundly in days."

"I guess this whole Abarai thing isn't making matter any better," Kyouraku sighed as he looked at the 6th Division captain. "He just looks so fragile, so weak. Could you do anything to ease the pain?" he looked over at the still sleeping captain. "He really is worn out, isn't he?"

Ukitake took a deep breath. "Kyouraku, do you know what happened to him?"

"I remember the reports, and I read Abarai's notes, is it true?" Kyouraku caught Ukitake's glance. "Did Aizen really…"

"I think so…" Ukitake answered quietly. "How am I supposed to fix this?"

"Why are you so concerned with fixing him?" Kyouraku asked.

"Because he's my heir…" Ukitake answered, Kyouraku freezing in place. "We're in a war, there's no guarantee that I'm going to make it out alive. Kuchiki Byakuya is the one that I choose to take my place when it's all over."

"Juushirou… he's just a kid…"

"He's not a kid anymore."

"Surely someone else… Komamura?"

"Kuchiki is the one that I choose," Ukitake looked out the window. "It's only a matter of time before whatever we're fighting comes here. It's only a matter of time before we're all in for the fight of our lives. And I think that he's the one who's destined to help us out of this."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira pushed all of the papers off of his desk as Sentarou left the room. Tears fell violently from his eyes as silent screams escaped his lips. Throwing his body into the desk, burying his face in his shaking hands, he was finally able to take in the situation that he had feared more than anything. He took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, his hand still covering his tear streaked face.

"Abarai-kun," he breathed quietly. "You idiot!" he slammed his fist up against the desk. "Damn it…"

The door then opened, footsteps entering the room, Kira's body shaking as he struggled to see who it was. "You heard the news, Kira-kun? I see you're taking it how I thought you would be…"

"Clam it, Hinamori…" Kira breathed heavily.

Hinamori walked deeper into the room. Her hair was let down as dark circles darkened her face. She looked like Hell had come to the Soul Society, running through the streets, torturing them. Kira looked deeper into her eyes as he saw the lines where tears had fallen still upon her face. His body stopped shaking as he propped himself up with his arms, looking desperately at the 5th Division captain.

"You're not taking it how I thought you would. I thought you'd be alright…"

"I never got to say goodbye. That day I was so mad at Hisagi I forgot to say goodbye to Abarai-kun, and now I'll never see him again," she closed her eyes as a tear leaked from her eyelashes. "I don't even remember the last thing that I said to him…"

"Same here… I hated goodbyes… I didn't want to say goodbye because I felt like I was building his coffin, yet now… I know that it's already been built," Kira collapsed against the desk again. "He was always there for me and now… now he's gone, he's slipped through my fingers."

Hinamori moved closer to the desk. "Kira-kun…" she shook her head as more tears began to fall. "I don't know what to tell you… I want to tell you that everything's going to be alright. I want to tell you that we're going to get through this, but are we? Is Hisagi…?"

"Don't you dare say it!" Kira roared. "Don't say anything about Hisagi-san!"

Hinamori took a deep breath. "He was there to protect him…"

"And you're saying that Hisagi can't take care of himself? Hisagi is capable of more than you think he is. He wasn't dependent on Abarai-kun!" Kira's voice was shaking violently. "I can't believe you wanted to jinx him. I can't believe you were going to say we were going to lose him too."

"Kira-kun."

"You love him, don't you? Don't you? Then why the hell would you want to jinx him? Why on Earth would you want to dig his grave? I almost lost him once; I'm not going to lose him again, no matter what," Kira moved from the desk to the window. "Now that Abarai's gone, we need Hisagi-san, or we're all as good as dead."

"Kira-kun, don't lose your soul in this. Abarai-kun was just stolen from us. We can't blow this out of proportion, that's not what he would have wanted. He died for a reason, don't make it all worthless," Hinamori closed her eyes as tears started to fall harsher, faster, more intense. "Don't make Abarai-kun look like an idiot for getting himself killed."

Kira pressed his hand up against the desk as Hinamori stared into his eyes. "Hinamori… I know that you're scared for Hisagi-san… I am too."

"You? You're the reason why we were made at each other. And now I feel like I'm going to lose him forever. Kira-kun… why? Why did you have to kiss him?"

"Hinamori… _Hisagi_ kissed _me _back…" Kira shook his head violently as he scoffed. "Don't pin it all on me, Hinamori."

"You were pissed because he was taking me from you."

"That was a long time ago."

"That was only a few months ago. Now you're here yelling at me. After all of these years trying to get to me and now when you've lost me, you pretend that you never wanted to be with me," Hinamori looked deeper into Kira's sparkling eyes. "Is that all I am to you? Was I just something that is in your way to get Hisagi?"

Kira took a deep breath as he looked into her eyes. "No, you're so much more than that."

In a moment of confusion- moment of intense fury- moment of madness, Kira didn't know which one, he felt his lips press up against Hinamori's, pulling her onto the desk, his arms wrapping around her small body. He kissed her with a fury that he never thought he had, tasting the blood that was on her lips as his teeth bit at them, feeling the warm liquidity of his saliva running down his chin. He closed his eyes tightly as her arms wrapped around his neck, her body trembling in his arms. In the moment all he could taste was Hisagi's lips upon hers, the last kiss that he had ever given before his departure.

He felt her body tremble as moans escaped her body, her nails digging deeply into his back. He closed his eyes tighter as tear rolled down his cheeks. He could still feel those arms wrapped around his body, that chest pressed up against his, he could still smell his skin. As he kissed Hinamori deeper, all he could think about was Hisagi. And as he pulled away to look into her eyes, that's all he could see.

"Why did you do that?" Hinamori asked as she looked into Kira's eyes.

"I don't know…" he dove in for another kiss as he pulled her closer to his body, his hand pulling her hair down, grabbing the dark locks tightly. As he could feel her body up against his, he could only think of Hisagi Shuuhei.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Blood dripped from his arm, down to the floor of Las Noches as the beast had fallen. Cuts and bruises littered the captain's body as he could feel his newly mended ribs once again fractured. Blood poured from his nose and his lips, a large gash through his right shoulder. He dropped Kazehini to the ground as he fell to his knees, only a few feet away from where Renji's body lay, face up staring blankly at the ceiling. The light fell across his face, igniting the vision of the scarlet rivulets that were escaping his neck, contributing to the puddle that was underneath him.

Hisagi moved closer to him, pulling his own body with just his left arm, his breathing labored as his ribs were pressed up against the ground. "Abarai…" he coughed as he moved closer to him.

As Hisagi arrived next to his body, his arms drenched in the 13th Division captain's blood, looked into Renji's eyes, there was no sign of life. He moved his hand to touch his shoulder, feeling his body temperature dropping. As he felt his shoulder, he pulled himself closer to Renji, dragging himself further through the blood to rest his head on the captain's chest. At that moment, he made shocking discovery: as he lay on Renji's chest he could hear the remnants of a heartbeat, fading into the darkness with every passing moment.

"Abarai!" Hisagi howled as he struggled to get off of the body. He moved his fingers to plug the gaping hole that was in his neck, his fingers becoming slathered with blood. "Help…" he breathed, looking around the room, but all of the men were dead, none of them showing any signs of life, blood covering the room.. "Help me…" he then used his free hand and raised it to the sky, this was the only hope that they had for survival. "Hado 4: Byakurai!"

As the stream of light went into the sky, he pushed deeper into Renji's neck, feeling the blood starting to come to a halt. He closed his eyes tightly as he could feel him dying. Help had to come as soon as possible. There was on way that he was going to be able to carry Renji's dead weight with one arm and several fractured ribs. But as he sat there holding Renji's neck together, feeling his pulse starting to fade, he knew he wasn't going to have many options. He had to act now.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"_This isn't going to hurt much… just give up…"_

"Byakuya?" Ukitake's voice cut through the silence. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Kuchiki breathed. "I'm just tired."

Ukitake looked deeper at the captain. "You do look a little pale…" he moved closer to him, to place his hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling alright?"

Kuchiki nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine… just tired is all. I've been overworked these days. I mean, helping the 13th Division isn't exactly the easiest feat. That on top of the 6th Division and the Kuchiki Clan… who has time for it all?" he took a deep breath. "And now the situation with Renji… ever since he left, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I can't do anything…"

Ukitake sighed. "Can you really put this all on the war…"

"I was fine before the war."

"No," Ukitake watched as Kuchiki's eyes moved away from him. "You weren't… and I don't know if you ever will be again, Byakuya… unless you tell me what's going on with you. What happened to you that day?"

Kuchiki chuckled as he shook his head. "You asshole… why the hell do you want to know what happened to me? You think you can relate? You think if I tell you everything you'll be able to wave it all away with that damn peace of yours. Your peace means nothing in this regard, there's nothing you can do to get rid of the pain."

Ukitake took a deep breath. "Byakuya… what…"

"He raped me! _Happy_?"

Ukitake went silent as he heard those words come from Kuchiki's lips. His heart sank in his chest as he remembered the pictures. The pictures, the evidence, it all came swirling back to him as he watched those grey eyes well up in tears, his lips quivering as anger overtook him. For the first time in the longest time, Ukitake had regretted something that he did. As he looked at the 6th Division captain, he felt like he had raped him all over again.

"What are you going to do about it?" Kuchiki asked, his voice shaking. "You can't do anything!"

"Byakuya…" Ukitake tried to keep his emotions in tact. "Did he…? Are you serious?"

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "Why would I make this up?"

"Kuchiki…"

"You wanted to know so badly, you wanted to understand what happened to me, there have been nights where I can't breathe, where I can't move. There are days when I don't even want to wake up, where I just wish I could open my eyes and it would all go away…" his body shook. "I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who I am anymore…"

Ukitake moved forward to wrap his arms around Kuchiki, feeling his body tremble in his arms as he pulled him closer. He could feel that breathing start to become harsher, those slender fingers shuddering at the emotion that was flowing through him. Ukitake held onto Kuchiki tighter as he felt the captain start to collapse against him.

"It's almost been a year, but I still feel his hands on me… almost a year and I can still hear those words in my ear… taste that mouth on mine…"

"He's gone now…" Ukitake breathed. "He's dead and gone…" he tightened his grip on ebony hair as he felt the tears rolling off of Kuchiki's porcelain cheeks. "He's gone, Byakuya…"

"But I can't get back what I've lost: my pride, my dignity, my mind, my security, it's all gone. I can never get any of that back, Ukitake," his voice broke as he held onto the captain commander. "For the first time in my life… I feel… so… so… _small_."

Ukitake's grip loosened as he heard Kuchiki's breathing speed up. "How bad was the damage?"

"Not as bad as you probably think it is… he didn't… it was completed rape… but it was the closest I have ever been to having sex with a man…" he closed his eyes tightly. "His fingers…"

Ukitake felt his stomach churn as he thought back to the photographs, as he thought back to the crime scene, seeing the blood on Renji's skin. He remembered the 4th Divisions reports. He remembered the few days after he was released. All of it came down to this moment; all of it came down to this second where he was looking into the grey eyes of a broken man. He felt like he was on the urge of vomiting, closely watching the tears from Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes.

"No one needs to know this… but _you_," Kuchiki looked deeply into Ukitake's eyes. "I haven't told anyone. My division, my clan, my fellow captains, they'd turn on me. I don't want that… I don't want to be a pariah…"

"Byakuya…" Ukitake moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders again. "Never ever feel that way around me. You can tell me anything, you know that. Your pain, your fears, your insecurities, you can tell it all to me and I will listen to you…"

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because… you're my only hope…" Kuchiki raised a confused eyebrow. "How would you feel about being the next soutaichou of the Gotei 13?"

* * *

I know that this was a HUGE risk chapter with Byakuya exploding, but it is going to help his development in the rest of this story as well as possible sequels. The rape was not completed (Byakuya was only fingered by Aizen which was then interrupted by Renji coming to find him.) But this also helps delve into the connection between Ukitake and Kuchiki and the final question that he is asked.

As for Hinamori and Kira, I know you thought I was done with this pairing, but they are the main love triangle of the _Falling Petals_ series.

The next chapter will show the fate of Renji, go deeper into Kira's feeling for Hinamori and Hisagi, and talk more about the deal Ukitake and Kuchiki are making. It will also show a lieutenant meeting.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

And support this story in the polls on my profile!

Also feel free to review. I LOVE feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, Kira x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, and references to: Ukitake/Byakuya, Aizen/Byakuya, and very slight Kyouraku x Nanao  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, a lot of blood, war, sexual content, references to rape. There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, but I say that every chapter.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"What did you just ask me?" Kuchiki asked, his voice shaking as he looked into Ukitake's eyes, his body stiff.

Ukitake looked deep into grey irises, all of the sorrow was standing aside, leaving only the glorious beauty that was synonymous with the Kuchiki Clan. He looked deep into those eyes seeing traces of the Kuchiki Byakuya he once knew, the one he was had a deep relationship with. Not the broken on that Aizen had destroyed, not the stoic one that the loss of a spouse had left behind, but the sweet child that once inhabited that body. The captain commander smiled as tears welled in his eyes, Kuchiki was back.

"Byakuya… no one can lead these men like you…"

"Komamura…"

"Why does everyone always say Komamura? Komamura does have the sense of honor; he does have the leadership skills, but you. Byakuya, you're a natural born leader, and you're one of the strongest captains I have ever met, even stronger than me…" Ukitake watched as Kuchiki turned away. "Byakuya… you're the one…"

"After all I've been through," Kuchiki shook his head. "I just lost Renji…"

A long silence then followed his words as he looked out the window, his hand clutching onto his chest as if he had felt something pulse through him. Ukitake walked closer to the 6th Division captain as his eyes stared endlessly out the window, a smile starting to glow upon his face.

"R-Renji…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi sat in the corner of the tent as he watched the 4th Division scramble to save all of the lives of those around them. He took a deep breath as he watched as Isane worked on the wounds that were on Renji's neck, feeling his reiatsu dip dangerously low. With every breath, the 9th division captain felt himself growing weaker, his ribs caving in as the pressure built. His eyes didn't leave Renji's body as he watched the blood pour from his neck, the small breaths that were leaving his lips. Hisagi was taken aback by everything that had occurred.

"Try not to move too much," Hanatarou breathed as he pressed his fingers up against Hisagi's chest. "You took quite a beating."

Hisagi looked over at Rikichi. "How many people went in there with Abarai?"

Rikichi took a deep breath. "Forty-eight…"

"How many people came back?"

There was a short silence before he answered. "Ten … including Renji-san…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he absorbed those numbers. Ten out of forty-nine men came back to them. Then out of forty-eight men were able to survive an attack from whatever kind of beast this was. He looked around to see all of the bodies, all of the blood, hearing some cries of pain as they extracted blood samples. Hisagi took a deep breath as he froze looking at what they were doing to Renji.

"And you're sure you don't know what this was?" Isane asked.

"I have no clue…" Hisagi winced as his ribs were mending together. "Why do you ask?"

Isane took a deep breath before answering. "Because Abarai-taichou's veins are filled with poison," she looked over at the captain. "He's going to die if we don't drain the blood…"

"All of it?" Hisagi asked. "No, that's far too much of a risk. Isn't there another way?"

"I'm afraid not, his heart is taking the brunt of the toxin, it's swelling in his chest… if we wait much longer it's going to stop," Isane pulled out a syringe, her eyes watering as she looked at what had become of the captain. "I'm going to need to take a sample of his blood. Ukitake-soutaichou is going to need to see this."

"Is it that serious?" Hisagi asked.

"He's practically cooking himself. His core temperature is skyrocketing, muscles are contracting, his organs are swelling, it's more serious than you thought it was…" Isane announced as she took out some of Renji's blood. "His blood is almost boiling…"

"The only way to stop this is to drain all of his blood?" Hisagi shook his head. "Surely you can ice him down…"

"That will only cool his skin, his veins are starting to burst open," she lifted up Renji's arm to show the discolorations that were underneath his skin, all of his blood vessles on the verge of breaking.

Hisagi watched closely as he remembered everything that they had gone through. The two of them had only become closer as the months wet by. Since the two of them were arrested for the hollow attack, the two of them had become almost like brothers. Now he was sitting only a few feet away from him as he watched the blood roll from his lips, the contractions of his muscles. With every moment he felt that he was going to lose him. He was falling deeper into the irretrievable darkness. He closed his eyes as he saw Isane start to extract the blood, several tubes filling with scarlet as Renji's body shook, his breathing catching in his throat.

Hisagi took a deep breath as tears started to roll down his cheeks, he could hear the 4th Division talk in the background. None of it was good.

"How many survivors do we have? Ten, right?"

"We're down to eight now… we just lost two…"

"What happened?"

"They overheated; their hearts couldn't take it…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tighter as the tears rolled down his cheeks, feeling the needles probe into him, pulling out his blood. Through his blurry vision he could see Renji's body fall limp on the cot, his mouth hung open, his eyes half open as he looked endlessly into the horizon, tears rolling down his cheeks, saliva pouring down his chin. As the 9th Division captain looked at him, he knew that he was gone.

"Abarai…" Hisagi breathed as Hanatarou backed off. "Abarai…" he moved from the corner to Renji's body, his hands pressing up against the 13th Division captain's shoulders. "Abarai, can you hear me? Renji?"

Hisagi watched as Isane was still working. He then gave a suggestion that he knew he was soon going to regret.

"Give him my blood…" Hisagi begged. "Please, give him my blood…"

"With Aizen's power in you, it's too risky…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly. "So you're going to let him die because you're scared of Aizen? I wasn't bitten by the monster; I am the only one who wasn't…"

Isane shook her head. "Rikichi…"

"I am the only one who can take that much blood loss…" Hisagi's voice was on the verge of breaking. "I'm the only one who can save him, and you're punishing me for a mistake that _you _made. I never asked for this to happen to me… I never wanted to have Aizen's heart and now I wish that you had left me for dead. If you had just left me for dead, Abarai Renji wouldn't be here…" his voice broke. "I don't want to be a crutch to those that I care about anymore. I want to help them. And now you're no different than _Kyouraku_… _Kurotsuchi_… _Zaraki_… _Hitsugaya_… _Soi_ _Fong_… you're just like all of them, you want me to be separate from everyone else. I don't want to watch Abarai die because I was an outcast. Please…" tears poured down his cheeks. "Please!"

He then heard footstep come closer to him. "Kotetsu-fukutaichou, Hisagi-taichou… I would like to donate my blood to Renji-san…"

"Rikichi… it's too dangerous…" Hisagi shook his head.

"I will sacrifice every last drop of my being for him… because I was there in that palace when this happened and here I am without a single scratch to prove it," Rikichi shook his head. "I want to help him… because I'm sure that's what my captain would want me to do…"

Hisagi looked at Isane. "Are you going to let him do it?"

Isane took a deep breath. "I don't think I have much of a choice. Abarai-taichou is fading fast; the blood vessels in his body have already started to burst. This is going to take everything that we have just to save him."

Hisagi pressed his hands up against Renji's body, feeling him no longer have a pulse. "Stay with me Abarai…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked out of the 3rd Division office, trying to avoid any eyes that would fall on her. Her hair fell onto her shoulders tousled as she tired to tie it back into her signature bun. She walked deeper into the hallways, thinking about Hisagi. What had she done? Kira's lips were still upon hers, his fingers still running along her skin. Her eyes watered as she thought of Hisagi. No matter what she did, she was never going to be able to take this back. It was her price to pay.

She closed her eyes tightly as she tried to block out the words, tried to forget the feelings. She walked faster as she saw some of the eyes of the 3rd Division upon her, she moved faster as if she was trying to run away from her mistake. How could she do that to both of them? She led Kira on when she was behind his back with Hisagi, and now she was behind Hisagi's back with Kira. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she could still feel that body up against hers, Kira's soft lips kissing her, his slender fingers caressing her gently. Her stomach churned as she could hear him whisper her name in her ear. She was a monster.

"Hinamori?" a voice asked as she kept walking. "What's wrong?"

She turned around to see Kira again, her heart breaking. "We made a mistake… I'm in love with Hisagi."

Kira shook his head as he followed her through the corridors. "Then why did you kiss me if you're so confident that you're in love with Hisagi?"

"I don't know… we all make mistakes," Hinamori breathed.

"I think you've made a lot of mistakes."

"Stop making this about you."

"It is about me, all of your mistakes involve me Hinamori, and most of mine involve you. Don't you see, we may be done with each other, but there is no way that we can ever erase what we had," he walked closer to her. "That's why you keep coming back to me…"

"I never thought you were the type to relate everything to you."

"Hinamori… you have been yelling at me endlessly, antagonizing me, because you're afraid that if you stop, you're going to start feeling for me. If I wasn't important to you, then why didn't you push harder for Hisagi to break the news to me? You waited, stayed with me, you felt something…" Kira grabbed her wrist. "And I think you still do."

"I'm with Hisagi…" Hinamori shook her head.

"Hinamori," he took a deep breath. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"Kira…" she tried to back away.

Their arms wrapped around each others bodies as his lips hit hers again, their bodies shuddering as he pulled her back into the office, closing the door behind them. The last sound of the door was the last sound that Hinamori would ever hear before she made the biggest mistake of her life.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The lieutenants sat around the table as all of them bowed their heads, Matsumoto sitting next to Rukia, embracing her tightly as the tears rolled down her cheeks. None of them looked at each other, all of them looking down as they tried to take the situation in. Not a single one of them wanted to speak, but they all knew what was occurring. As they heard Rukia's crying, they knew that this moment had exploded in their face.

"I can't believe this happened," Iba shook his head. "Abarai, out of all people…"

"He was just trying to protect us from harm," Yumichika breathed. "Sent him to a pointless war… just so they could collect information," he shook his head. "I can't believe he's gone…"

"It was like it was only yesterday he was here at these meetings," Matsumoto smiled as she tried to think positive. "Damn was he ambitious."

"The most ambitious of all of us," Yumichika shook his head. "And if he can be killed, what fate is there for the rest of us?"

Ikkaku took a deep breath. "I guess this means, the captains are going to be having a meeting about getting a new captain," he closed his eyes tightly. "He hadn't even been a captain for a year…"

Rukia looked around the room. "I guess that means one of us is going to be promoted, doesn't it?" she looked up at Ikkaku. "Are you ready to be the captain of the 13th Division?"

"Are you even sure he's dead?" Nanao asked as she looked at all of the lieutenants. "You have to be sure before you say anything of this nature."

"If it was your captain, would you be talking like this?" Iba asked.

"Are you questioning my relationship with my captain?" Nanao narrowed her eyes. "Are you, _Tetsuzaemon_?"

"I'm questioning how unhealthy it is. You know that if it was your captain that was dead in a ditch in Hueco Mundo, you wouldn't be sitting there emotion free. You would be hysterical, you'd go crazy. You went crazy when his name was tarnished, you went crazy when he got stabbed, you even go crazy whenever someone makes a reference to how he feels about Hisagi," Iba barked at Nanao, watching her shake at his words. "But since it's only Abarai-taichou, you don't give a shit!"

"That's enough!" Matsumoto announced. "We all know that if it were captain you'd care me. And if it were mine I would care more, and if it were Kuchiki, Yumichika would care more, and if it were Ukitake, Ikkaku would care more. But it's Renji we're talking about, Rukia's captain, Rukia's _fiancée _and your hear thinking that your own hang-ups are more important? Rukia is in pain…"

"Don't you think we know that?" Yumichika asked. "I saw my captain vomit, panic, literally go insane everyday that Renji was in that Godforsaken land. I know the pain that Rukia is going through, I've seen it, I just don't know what to do to stop it…"

"I don't think any of us know how to stop it. All of our captains have been through pain," Nanao looked around the table. "I know my captain has. He almost lost his best friend, his division turned on him, he lost his sensei, and now he's lost his good name, all of his credibility. We all know what our captains have been through, but there's nothing we lieutenants can do to stop it. We're just their shadows."

"My captain has locked himself up in his office all day," Sentarou breathed. "When I was on my way here, the door was still closed, and locked."

"My captain has hardly been in the 5th Division," Kiyone sighed. "But they do have a meeting later on, I'm sure that will lift their spirits."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ukitake walked into the room where the other captains were standing ready, Kuchiki close at his side. He watched as eyes fell upon him as Kuchiki walked to stand in between Kyouraku and Unohana, both captain giving the 6th Division captain suspicious looks. Ukitake watched as all of the eyes moved from Kuchiki to him, Kuchiki bowing his head as his hands tightened into fists.

"You're late…" Kurotsuchi announced.

"I know…" Ukitake chuckled.

"You're late to a meeting that _you_ called…" Kurotsuchi shook his head. "You really are a flake."

Ukitake looked around the room. "I knew that we'd be missing Hisagi and Abarai, but where have Kira and Hinamori gone off to?"

"Playing hooky?" Hitsugaya crossed his arms. "That's not like them."

"What did you expect from new captains?" Soi Fong asked. "The two of them probably aren't taking their duties seriously. And speaking of taking duties seriously…" her eyes fell onto Kuchiki. "Why were _you _late, Kuchiki?"

"I got caught up in work," Kuchiki answered.

"Caught up in working your way into Ukitake's pants," the 12th Division captain muttered.

"Hisagi's at war and you move on to making fun of Kuchiki?" Komamura asked as he took a step forward.

"Well if we sent strong captains like Kuchiki and Kyouraku, maybe Abarai would still be alive right now," he looked up at Ukitake. "That's what this is all about, right? Abarai?"

Ukitake took a deep breath. "I'm sure you all felt it; right… the sudden drop of Abarai Renji's spiritual pressure. I received transmission from Hueco Mundo earlier today that Abarai was indeed wounded severely in battle, they did not know the extent," he looked around the room. "The death toll as of now is at five hundred and twenty shinigami, most of the casualties still within the 8th Division…"

"And what of Hisagi?" Komamura asked.

"Hisagi is alive and well, he's the one who sent me the transmission," Ukitake took a deep breath. "And he says they are getting closer to the information that they need. They're going to come home."

"I find it hard to believe that they find what they needed in only a matter of weeks," Hitsugaya breathed. "Doesn't it usually take much longer to get such high profile, high security information?"

"Hisagi Shuuhei is no normal captain…" Kuchiki announced. "I think it's about time that we realized that."

Zaraki scoffed. "Sounds like a true Aizen sympathizer."

"Of course he's a sympathizer, didn't he and Aizen make beautiful love?" Kurotsuchi hissed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kuchiki took a step toward Kurotsuchi, his voice on the verge of breaking, Kyouraku grabbing his arm to pull him back, Hitsugaya standing in front him, blocking his path. "Don't you ever refer to what happened to me with those words, or I'll kill you where you stand."

"Easy Byakuya…" Kyouraku breathed as he pulled him back. "No need to get worked up over this swine…"

"Isn't this touching?" Zaraki laughed. "You're on their side now, aren't you Kyouraku? You want Hisagi to remain a captain."

"Aizen is dead," Kyouraku breathed. "I've embraced that. I can admit my mistakes. I admit my behavior has been horrible. I admit that some of you will never forgive or forget what I said, but I have seen the error of my ways. I hope that you can one day see the error of yours."

"You know you wish that it was Hisagi who died," Zaraki breathed.

Komamura growled. "Hisagi shouldn't have gone in the first place."

"Really keeping with that promise to Tousen?" Zaraki asked. "How do we know that coward and Ichimaru aren't behind this as well? Maybe we should lock the gates and hide Kuchiki before he gets his pretty ass in trouble again…"

Unohana finally spoke. "Why have you summoned us here?"

Ukitake took a deep breath. "I want you all here when I get the next report from Hisagi-taichou," he looked around the room. "I have summoned the lieutenants to arrive here as well. And then we'll finally be able to see the results of Abarai's condition."

"What about Hinamori and Kira?" Hitsugaya asked. "Shouldn't we get them?"

"They will arrive soon enough," Kyouraku explained. "After all, they're closer to Abarai than most of us captains are."

Ukitake took a deep breath as he looked over at Kuchiki, smiles on both of their faces as they thought back to the last conversation they had together. They were left with the most difficult question of both of their careers, and Kuchiki had said yes.

"_How would you feel being the next soutaichou?"_

"_I would be delighted."_

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Procedure completed…" Isane announced as she backed away from Renji, Hisagi's hands still on his shoulders.

Hisagi looked down at Renji, his body lay motionless as his eyes were half open, the mask of death taking his face over. Blood still stained his skin, the discolorations under his skin as plain as day, the wound on his neck barely closed. The poison had made it difficult for him to heal. He remembered seeing the chunks of crystallized blood being pulled from the wound on Renji's neck, the pain rolled through Hisagi's body.

"Abarai!" Hisagi yelled. "Wake up!" he shook his shoulder. "Abarai?" he closed his eyes tightly, he couldn't feel a pulse, he couldn't hear a breath, he couldn't sense his reiatsu. "God in Heaven…" he breathed as he moved closer to Renji's chest. "A-Abarai… no…"

Isane bowed her head. "We were too late…"

Hisagi grabbed Renji's red hair, taking a handful of it as he buried himself deeper in his chest. "Rikichi…"

"Yes, sir…"

"Send a message to Ukitake-soutaichou…" Hisagi choked on his next words. "Tell him that Abarai Renji was killed in action…"

Rikichi walked out of the tent, Hisagi could feel the pain escalading through the area. Out of all of the men who had gone in there, only one had survived, and that one was not Captain Abarai. He closed his eyes tightly as the tears started to fall, sensing Isane looking away from him. He grasped deeper into Renji's hair, still feeling the boiling heat of his overcooked body.

"Abarai…" Hisagi breathed. "Damn it… I told you not to go on your own… I warned you… and you didn't listen to me," he pushed his fist up against Renji's chest. "You asshole, you bastard, you…" his whole body was shaking. "You… _Renji_…"

At that moment, Hisagi felt something, heard a noise that signaled an inkling of hope. It was nothing spectacular. It wasn't a heartbeat. It wasn't a breath. It wasn't a single movement of his body. It was nothing that was so miraculous the tears immediately stopped. It was something that people usually ignore throughout their days, not even realizing people are doing it. At that moment he heard Renji swallow.

"Isane…" Hisagi breathed as he looked at her through his peripheral vision. "Did you notice that? Or am I imagining?"

Isane shook her head in disbelief. "Maybe it was a last minute nerve?"

"Abarai?" he moved back as he looked at the 13th Division captain. "Abarai?"

The moment, a splash of blood passed his lips as Renji coughed, his body shaking with every splatter. Hisagi froze as he heard Renji breathe harshly, his eyes open as he looked over at him, his hand shaking as more blood rolled down his lips. He swallowed again as he gagged on the metallic taste, his eyes closing as he visibly fought another urge to vomit.

"Abarai?" Hisagi asked as he moved closer to take Renji's hand. "You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were gone. I thought I lost you…"

Renji took a deep breath as he looked around the room. "H-Hisagi-san…? Where am I?"

"You're back at HQ," Hisagi breathed as he wiped the blood off of Renji's lips, feeling him shudder underneath his touch. "How are you feeling?"

"How do you think I'm feeling?" his voice was shaking as he took deep breaths. "I can barely breathe, I feel this unbelievable weight on my chest, I'm bleeding, I feel like I'm going to die…"

"No, we already went there, you aren't going to die," Hisagi held tighter onto his hand. "You're not going die. Just stay with me, alright," he closed his eyes as he fought back the tears. "Don't do that again, because if you do, you're going to get yourself killed."

Renji took a deep breath. "Hisagi-san… what I saw in there… it wasn't normal… it wasn't like anything that I had ever seen in my life before. Hisagi-san… we have to get out of here… we're not going to last much longer…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "We need to get you well enough to move first…"

Rikichi walked back into the tent. "Do you still want me to send that message?"

Hisagi shook his head. "No… tell them that Renji's alright. Tell them that we're going to come back. Forty-nine people went in today, two came out," he watched as Renji's eyes closed as he started to give into his exhaustion. "You saved his life, Rikichi… he'd be dead if you didn't offer that to him…"

Rikichi smiled as he looked at the captain. "I had to remember the promise you two made to Matsumoto-fukutaichou…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he touched the necklace that was around his neck, his voice quiet as he heard the soft sound of Renji breathing, his hand still in his. "Rangiku-san… I'll come back to you… no matter what."

* * *

This chapter is the halfway point for this series, only five more chapters to go until _Broken Wings_. There are of course some issues that still need to be wrapped up. What attacked Renji? What is going to happen between Hinamori and Kira? And is Kuchiki ever fully going to come to grips with his rape? All questions that will be answered later on.

I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to upload, ff was giving me crap for the last couple of days with error reports.

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The next chapter is going to go more into how Kira and Hinamori are reacting to this as well as going deeper into the thought processes of the infamous 8th Division.


	6. Chapter 6

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, Kira x Hinamori, slight Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kyouraku/Ukitake, some Kyouraku x Nanao, Ichimaru x Matsumoto, and references to: Ukitake/Byakuya and Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, references war, sexual content, references to rape. There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, but I think you all know that I'm not perfect.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hinamori sat in the corner of the 3rd Division, burying her face in her hands as Kira lay on the couch. Neither of them were talking, neither of them were looking at each other, neither of them were paying attention to each other's presence. As Hinamori sat in the corner, it was all coming back to her. Today was a mistake. Everything that she had done, all of the moments with Kira, they weren't supposed to happen. She closed her eyes tightly as she knew that she had betrayed him, she had betrayed everything that she had once held dear.

Kira sat up as he finally looked over at her. She couldn't look back it him. She felt uncomfortable, awkward, she didn't want to touch him, she didn't want to look at him. She closed her eyes tightly as she could feel him staring at her, his gaze burning through her body like fire. She couldn't bring herself to move, the only thought coming to her mind was Hisagi.

"You're acting weird," Kira breathed.

"You made me do it again, why do you keep luring me back?"

Kira shook his head. "Hinamori, Hinamori, Hinamori… no one is _luring _you back. And don't make such a big deal about this. It's not like we're sleeping together."

"I wish we were. Then I would have a reason to feel as bad as I do…" her voice was almost silent as she looked away from him.

"Don't you think you did worse to me? When we were together only the Devil knows what you were doing with Hisagi-san," he stood up from the couch. "You see, Hinamori. You're the type of person who only thinks about you, you don't think of anyone else. You sure as hell don't think about me or Hisagi-san. You're playing both of us."

"I'm not playing Shuuhei, take that back!"

"I see what I see," Kira shook his head. "You think that you don't have to choose, that you can do whatever you want. You didn't have to kiss me. You didn't push me away, you didn't yell at me until you had your fill of me…" he walked closer to her as she stood up. "Hinamori, you and Hisagi left on bad terms, I get that. You're mad at him for what he did with me, I get that. Why do you choose to make him pay for it? Why do you choose to play this game with a man who has literally jumped through fire and walked on water for you?"

Hinamori took a deep breath. "I don't know. I love him… I love him more than I have ever loved anything. But I can't be like Rukia-san… I don't have the dedication that she does. Her world revolves around Abarai-kun, he could do anything and she would forgive him," she closed her eyes tightly. "I envy her…"

"Abarai-kun and Rukia-san are unbreakable; nothing is going to keep those two apart for more than a few weeks. Well nothing could keep them apart, until that news passed along," he shook his head. "Abarai-kun could be dead as we speak…"

"And still Rukia-san won't move on…"

"She learned from the best, look at her brother, he hasn't moved on in decades."

"Abarai-kun isn't dead," Hinamori took a deep breath. "I know he isn't. I can feel him breathing. He's alive…"

"I told you, their love for each other is immortal. You and Hisagi on the other hand, are unstable. I don't think either of you have a healthy approach to this…" Kira explained. "You see… if wither of you were healthy would you both be making out with the same guy?"

"Who made you the expert on my relationship?"

"I know Hisagi-san, I know him better than you ever will. I have been inside that sick head of his, a place that I know you would never survive. I was inside of his mind the day that he ran away from me; the last day that he was ever fully himself. I have been there for him for years, his confidante, his partner, his brother in arms. You came into his life in a moment in a cell…" Kira scoffed as he walked closer to her.

"Why are you being like this?" Hinamori asked. "It's not like you to be this nasty. You're a kind soul, Kira-kun. You aren't hostile about anything. Yet now here we are talking about Hisagi and all of a sudden you're attacking me with all that you've got."

Kira took a deep breath. "Because… you're letting me…"

She moved forward as she took his lips again in a kiss, his arms wrapping around her tightly. Her body shook up against his as he lifted her off of the ground, pushing her to the wall as he kissed harshly at her lips, her breathing speeding up as she moved up against his movements aggressively. Her fingers dug into his back as she threw her head back, feeling his lips move up against her neck. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. Her body had betrayed her heart.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ukitake walked toward Kuchiki as all of the captains and lieutenants left the room. He watched as the captain stared blankly at the door, his body barely shaking, his eyes cold and lifeless. As Ukitake moved closer, he heard Kuchiki release a deep breath, his hands curling in fists. The 1st Division captain tried his hardest to look at him and not remember the tears that he had been holding back for years. He walked closer as he watched Kuchiki's eyes fall upon him.

"Ukitake?" he asked, his voice quiet.

Ukitake shook his head as he looked at him. "You almost fell apart there, what happened? Kurotsuchi…"

"I felt like he was talking down to me…" he shook his head. "It's just… I hear those words and I feel like it's all I hear these days. They're whispering about me. I don't have to say anything and they think they have all the answers. Maybe they do…" he shook his head. "I wish I did…"

Ukitake walked closer as he placed a hand on Kuchiki's shoulder watching him flinch. "Byakuya… they don't know what happened to you. They can't even imagine what happened to you."

"Why me?" Kuchiki asked. "Out of all of the captains, why me?"

"You're crucial to the Seireitei. He thought that if he could overthrow you, break you, he'd break us all up. He wanted to make you feel worthless."

"Mission accomplished."

"No," Ukitake grabbed Kuchiki's shoulder tighter. "Byakuya, he was wrong. After what he did to you, he didn't break you away from anyone. You're still something to me, you always will be. I've known you for years and years Byakuya and no matter what you never do anything to make me think any less of you. You could burn this whole world to the ground and I would still think that you're something…"

Kuchiki closed his eyes tightly. "Ukitake-soutaichou," he shook his head. "What do we do now?"

Ukitake looked into Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes and he saw that child again, a picture of perfection in the plum blossoms. He closed his eyes as he held onto Kuchiki, feeling his body shake up against his grasp. All of the words, all of the looks, all of the moments, nothing could make him any less of a man. No matter what any of the other captains said, Kuchiki Byakuya was always going to be whole. He was always going to be the same man.

"I guess we have to wait for the troops to come back…" Ukitake breathed. "They no doubt have information on whatever killed almost six hundred men. And when they do, I want you to help me sort through the information. I mean… you are the next soutaichou…"

"You always ask too much of me…"

"And you always say yes."

Kuchiki looked at the closed door. "Aizen really messed this place up didn't he? Hisagi's become a pariah, you're the new soutaichou, I was practically destroyed, and all of us are at each other's throats. Everything is so different; I don't think I can ever feel like myself again…"

"You're letting the sorrow overtake you. You can't sink into that, there's no guarantee that you'll make it out in one piece. We have to stay positive. No matter what comes our way, we will make it out alive. Together we can do anything, just think of it…" he looked over at Kuchiki. "You're everything that I want for this land. You're the one that I think can save us all. You're the perfect soutaichou, Byakuya; you just don't know it yet…"

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "I know why you're saying that. And for once in my life, I think I can agree with you. I think that you maybe right. Together we're going to be the best team the Soul Society has ever seen. And we're going to start by discussing the 8th Division…"

"Kyouraku is as much on my side as you are," Ukitake narrowed his eyes suspiciously, wondering what the 6th Division captain was getting at. "Why are you so concerned about him?"

"The things he said about Hisagi, do you really think he's going to take them back? Do you really think he's sorry about all of that? You can't just go back on words like that?"

"He made a mistake. There's no way that you're going to make me believe that you're going to hold that against him…"

"He said that he was going to pull a man's heart out of his chest, _Ukitake_," Kuchiki took a deep breath. "If you want to believe that's all just a lie, that he said that because he was scared, you go right ahead. But that doesn't mean I trust him."

"Your trust is hard to come by," Ukitake continued.

"But when you get it, it's unbreakable," Kuchiki looked at the 1st Division captain. "And I trust you to make the right decision about all of this. You haven't let me down yet…"

"If only everyone felt the way you do," Ukitake looked into the distance. "I never wanted this to happen to us…"

Ukitake looked back at Byakuya, his dark eyes piercing through him. "Ukitake, you don't have to be so uptight about all of this. You'll be great. You're going to be the one to save us. You're the only one who hasn't given up on me. You're the one who thinks I'm still worth something…"

"You are…" Ukitake took a deep breath as he looked at the younger captain. "Byakuya…"

Kuchiki took a deep breath as he moved closer to Ukitake. "We're in this together, remember that. Every hit that you take is my problem too. You're not alone in this… not anymore."

Ukitake looked deep into those eyes, his whole body freezing as he saw what was within him. He saw all of the agony, all of the pain that had plagued the two of them overflowing dangerously, drowning both of them. But as he looked deeper he saw the pain start to fade away, he saw everything that he had once feared start to be cast aside. As he looked into Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes he saw someone that he could trust. He saw someone that he could rely on. He saw someone who could save him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kyouraku sat at his desk looking at the old crime scene pictures of Kuchiki Byakuya's assault. He rescanned the blood, rescanned the horror that was upon them. The deeper he looked he could only see the misery that was left behind. He took a deep breath as he put the pictures down, looking out the window. The world that he had once known, the innocence that he had once loved was all fading away and he knew that he was all a part of it.

"Taichou?" Nanao walked into the office closing the door behind her. "Looking at the pictures again…"

"A captain said something at the meeting that reminded me of them. Maybe Abarai was right about Byakuya-kun and Aizen, maybe he really did…" he closed his eyes and shook his head. "I guess I just want to take it all back, go back to the innocence before all of this happened."

Nanao walked closer to him. "Well maybe you could still have it if you didn't overreact back then," Kyouraku looked away from her. "And say what you said about Hisagi-taichou…"

"Hisagi is going to turn into that monster. I know he is. Everyday he is falling deeper into the darkness, the words of Kurotsuchi and Zaraki tearing away at him. They are only fueling the transformation," he looked up into his lieutenant's eyes. "It's only a matter of time. We have to preserve him while we can."

Nanao took a deep breath. "And killing him is saving him?"

"It's saving his dignity. When you think about it Kira, Hinamori, Abarai, they're all the cruelest captains around, they're not going to let him die for anything. They don't get it, they're young, they have yet to understand the concept of dignity. And I'm nothing more than a villain to them, all because I expressed my opinion."

Nanao took a deep breath. "These are the wrong times to be expressing your opinion. And you of all people should know why: Ukitake-soutaichou's career is at an extremely fragile point. He's already seemed to take on his own little protégé in Kuchiki Byakuya. They've spent days together."

Kyouraku took a deep breath as he thought of that. The past couple of days Ukitake had paid attention to nothing but Kuchiki Byakuya. He had become obsessed with the captain, the two of them practically attached at the hip. He closed his eyes tightly as he remembered when they walked into the meeting together. After all of this time, he felt like he was getting further away from his best friend. He looked at the pictures and saw the agony; he could still hear Abarai's cries as the sword was raised above his head. That moment changed everything. That moment killed the calm and gave birth to the fire.

"They've got their reasons," Kyouraku breathed as he looked up at Nanao. "They're trying to clean up my mess. If I was just a little more careful, maybe Yama-jii…" he shook his head. "If I knew how not to get involved maybe I could have saved him…"

"The past is done," the lieutenant announced. "There's nothing you can do about the past. The pictures, the memories, their nothing now but documentation of everybody's mistake, not just yours, we all are to blame."

He looked away from the pictures and looked toward the window. "It's all up to Abarai and Hisagi now, I guess their all the hope we have to for fixing this mess."

"Have some faith in them, they can do this. They aren't going to let you down."

"But Hisagi… all of the things that we said to him, all of the things that we have done to him, how can he put it all to the side? How is he going to forget everything that we are holding against him? He fails we're against him, he saves us all we're against him. How can he want to succeed in a world where it doesn't make a difference, when everyone is still going to hate him no matter what?" Kyouraku shook his head. "I know he didn't ask for it. I know he never wanted to be this monster that we all turn our backs on. But what can I do? How can we stop this?"

Nanao took a deep breath as she looked out the window. "When I see what we can do, I'll be the first one to tell you…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori lay on the couch, her head rested up against Kira's chest hearing the gentle pulsations of his heartbeat. She took a deep breath as she could feel his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. This was wrong. She could feel the wrongness of this situation. She could feel Hisagi's pain as she stayed situated on his best friend's chest. Was this how he felt every time that they were together behind Kira's back? Is this the pain that he kept referring to? She closed her eyes tightly as she finally realized what she was doing. She was slowly killing Hisagi.

She raised her body off of Kira's body wondering what she had been doing. It was random. It was stupid. It was all poorly handled. Yet somehow when she saw Kira again, she couldn't help but become closer to him. But why? Was it the taste of Hisagi's lips on his? Was it Hisagi's invisible touch still lingering on Kira's skin? Was it the attraction that he had toward the 3rd Division captain? She sat up and looked into the darkness of the room, the first tear rolling down her cheek.

"My God…" she breathed almost silently, her hands moving to cup her face. "What have I done?"

She closed her eyes tightly as all of the memories came back to her. All of this time, she had sacrificed so much to be with him. She had set the world on fire just to be by his side. And now, for nothing, she was giving it all up. She was never going to be able to touch him the same way again, her hands burning at his skin as all of her dishonesty igniting him, incinerating him to no end. She could never kiss his lips without feeling the venom slowly poisoning him. She could never be the same with him.

He had done the same thing to her, he had kissed Kira, he had been enamored by him. Both of them had walked down the wrong road, everything that they had shattering before them. It was then that she knew she had to stop. She had to stop holding on to something so wrong, so dangerous. She knew that they couldn't be whole again. But above all she knew she was never going to be able to let him go.

Her tears kept falling as she thought of his return, if he ever did. What was she going to say to him? What was she going to do? She knew whatever she did it was just more salt in the wound. She closed her eyes tightly as she knew it didn't matter what she did anymore, no matter what she did there was no way Hisagi Shuuhei would ever take her back.

"What have I done?"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia sat at the desk of the 13th Division looking straight into the darkness. He was alive. After all of the fear that she had been through, she now knew that Renji was alright. Tears formed in her eyes as she could finally be at rest. She kept looking forward into the darkness, the door opening as she was lost in her tears.

"You alright?" the voice asked as the footsteps came closer.

Rukia looked up to see a familiar face walking toward her. "Matsumoto-san…"

"I thought that I would still find you in here this late," she looked around the office. "Not the same with Renji is it?"

Rukia took a deep breath. "No, it's not…" she looked up at the 10th Division lieutenant. "What brings you here?"

"I came to check on you. Every meeting that we've had you've been hysterical," she moved to sit on the desk. "I wanted to make sure that you're alright. A lot of us are worried about you…"

"You don't need to be…" she took a deep breath. "I'm fine now…"

Matsumoto closed her eyes and shook her head. "I know how you feel. I know what it's like to have the one you love so far away from you. You don't even know what he's doing, but you hope that he'll come back to you," she looked into the 13th Division lieutenant's eyes. "At least you can sense yours; I have no clue where Gin is…"

"He's alright. I don't know how I can guarantee that, but he's alright. He helped us out so much. All of the Espada, their gone, none of them exist anymore. I'm sure that Ichimaru is the one who's responsible for that…" Rukia looked down at the desk. "He's been an invisible hand in all of this, keeping us on course, keeping us alive. And it seems for the first time in my life… I can actually trust a man like that. He's the only reason Renji didn't die on the spot in Hueco Mundo."

Matsumoto took a deep breath as she smiled at the other lieutenant. "Those are the words that I've wanted to hear for years…"

* * *

This is chapter contains a lot of segues into _Broken Wings_. The Hinamori conflict involving Kira and Hisagi will be explained more, as will Kyouraku's position on Hisagi. This is also has a HUGE mentioning of Ichimaru Gin in it (I know you're all wondering when or if you'll see him again... maybe you will, maybe you won't :)

The next chapter is going to go deeper into some of the above topics, and it will also talk more about the conclusion of the war. The climax is upon us (well the climax for this part, the climax for the wholre series is only God knows where...)

Thank you all for being patient with me.

If you liked what you read feel free to PM me a request! (See profile for details.)

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And if you haven't already, vote for this story in the polls for faster updates!


	7. Chapter 7

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, Kira x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, and Hitsugaya x Hinamori  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, references war, sexual content, and excessive alcohol use. There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, but I think you all know that I'm not perfect.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hisagi looked down at Renji, in the past couple of days, color had finally returned to his face, the dark discolorations disappearing from underneath his skin. He was starting to revert back to his normal self, his breathing finally leveling. For the past couple of days, it had been unbearable; the pain that the captain was going through was evident. Hisagi had spent many sleepless nights just watching over him, this night was no different. As the eternal moon shined down on them, he watched as Renji still winced from the pain, the remnants of the poison trying it hardest to eat away at him.

As he looked down at him, Hisagi stroked the necklace that was around his neck. Everyday, he was getting closer and closer to getting back to her, to give her the necklace back to prove that he was worthy of this mission. He ran his fingers along it as he remembered that day. All he could hear was her voice; all he could see was that smile that was across her face. It was his inspiration.

But the more he thought about it, the more he thought about Kira, his lips up against his, his arms wrapped around his body. He remembered the last night that they were together; it took all of his power to stop. Something inside of him didn't let him stop, and he knew something inside Kira didn't want him to. He licked his lips as he tried his hardest to think of his choice. He held onto the necklace tighter as he knew it was impossible.

"Thinking about Kira again?" Renji asked quietly, his voice still weak from coughing.

"How could you tell?" Hisagi asked.

"Whenever you think about Kira, you get this look in your eyes. You look so guilty," Renji closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Are you guilty?"

"It was wrong," Hisagi answered. "It was wrong to kiss him as many times as I did. And before we left for the war… I don't know what's going on with me. I love Hinamori, I…"

"Do you love Hinamori, or was Hinamori the only one who kept you company while you were in that cell?" Renji tried to sit up. "You want to be with Hinamori because you think she's the only one who will ever love you because you have Aizen's heart. You think that she was with you before your life fell to shit, she'll be with you forever…"

"Who made you the love expert? You and Rukia are _always_ falling apart!"

"I was being an idiot, just like you," Renji took a deep breath. "I think that's why you and I get along so well. We are very much alike in the fool department. But in the love department, at least I know who I should be with."

"How did you know Rukia was the one?"

Renji closed his eyes and chuckled. "I just knew. It become obvious, I guess you know it when you fight. I can't fight Rukia without holding back, and she can do the same with me. If you hold back in an argument, is the relationship really going to work out?"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "So you're saying I belong with Kira?"

Renji shrugged his shoulders. "You two do make a nice couple. How horribly do you feel about kissing him?"

"I hurt Hinamori."

"I rest my case. If you felt guilty you would have said you hurt you both. That means you enjoyed it, and you would do it again," Renji smiled a wicked grin. "You're just going to keep going further and further…"

"So the next time we meet, we're going to have sex?" he watched as Renji froze in place about to say something. "Before the war he met me in my office. It started with an argument, then we started kissing. The next thing I know I go on auto-pilot and he's on my desk, I'm taking off his clothes. I was going to have sex with him, Renji. I would have, but he stopped me…"

"_You_ were going to have sex with _Kira_ _Izuru_?" Renji shook his head. "Holy fuck!"

"We didn't," Hisagi breathed.

"Do you think about it?"

"Think about what?"

"What fucking Kira would feel like," Renji heard Hisagi scoff. "What's with you and Kira about using the word _fucking_. That's what you two were going to do: _fuck_."

"You really like that word, don't you?" Hisagi asked. "And we didn't _fuck_. I don't even think he wants to _fuck_ me…" he bowed his head. "He told me I have to think about who to choose before the end of the war."

"If you really loved Hinamori, you'd just choose her…" Renji breathed as he watched Hisagi look away from him with a scoff. "You would, you wouldn't be questioning, you'd just know that Hinamori was the one for you. Kira's doing something to you, he enticed you, he's got you in his web and you're not exactly fighting the grip…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he remembered the moment when he kissed Kira for the first time; something had taken him over, something that he felt comfortable expressing. It was always there, playing behind the curtains, waiting for the right moment for everything to come onto the stage. As he kissed Kira, he felt right, he couldn't pull away. Renji was right.

"So who are you doing to choose?" Renji asked as he looked into Hisagi's eyes.

Hisagi took a deep breath. "Hinamori of course… I love her…"

"All I'm saying it you say you love her _a lot_, are you trying to convince yourself or me?" Renji lay back down and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "How many times have you said you love Kira?"

"None," Hisagi breathed as he bowed his head.

At that moment, Renji didn't need to say anything else, he had gotten his answer.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira sat behind the 9th Division desk as he pressed his hands up against the furniture. He took a deep breath as he remembered the last day that he saw Hisagi, it was in this room, behind this desk. He looked at the room from his point of view as he reminisced about that day, tasting Hisagi's mouth on his tongue. He swallowed hard as he could feel those hands up against his skin. They were different than the hands of Hinamori would ever be. It felt so right, like it was supposed to be that way.

He thought to the days that he had spent with Hinamori, thinking about her lips on his. He didn't have feelings for her, it was awkward, uncomfortable and after it was all said and done, he felt empty on the inside. He pressed his hands up against the desk again as he tried to remember those strong arms wrapped around him, that voice in his ear. He leaned his head back as he took a deep breath.

"Hisagi…" he breathed.

The door then opened, Hinamori walking in. "What have you been doing to me?"

"Only what you've been asking me to do," Kira breathed as he looked over at her. "You never once said that you didn't want to do any of it…"

"Kira, this is wrong. Hisagi…"

"Are you going to tell him?"

Hinamori grinned. "Afraid you're going to get in trouble?"

"No," Kira breathed as he looked deeper into her eyes. "You're going to get in more trouble than me: his cute little lover, making out with his best friend, doing whatever she wants while he's off fighting a pointless war. Tell me how that sounds, Hinamori-kun."

Hinamori shook her head, her voice breaking. "You planned this…"

"I didn't plan anything," Kira stood up. "The only thing that I planned is the fact that you now have no place to turn. This is going to stay our little secret, alright? You don't need to tell Hisagi…"

"I've been in this situation before, it sucks," Hinamori breathed. "Only this is different. Instead of me concealing my feelings for a man a love to a man I don't, I'm concealing lies from a man I love…" her voice broke as the first tear fell. "I'm in love with Hisagi Shuuhei, you're going to have to deal with it…"

Kira laughed. "You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to be all over you whenever I look at you? You think that I want to hurt him? You're not the only one who's hurting a man that you love, Momo, get that through that thick skull of yours!"

Hinamori backed away as she heard those words; Kira freezing as he finally realized what he had said. He looked into her eyes as he saw a combination of disgust and shock. He fell back into the chair as he tried to catch his breath, she wasn't moving, her eyes not leaving his body as she tried to take in the words.

"What did you just say? What the hell did you just say?" her body shook a she took a deep breath.

"I didn't say anything…" Kira breathed.

"You love him? You love Hisagi?" Hinamori asked as she saw a tear roll down Kira's cheek. "Kira-kun…"

"Hinamori…" he watched as she backed out of the door. "Hinamori!"

As she left the room, he buried his face in his hands as he took deep breaths. "Oh my God…" he breathed as his whole body shook. "What am I? What…" he fell up against the desk as his breathing didn't cease. "I'm hideous…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked further and further, trying her hardest to get out of the 9th Division. She couldn't believe what she had heard. All of this time, all of these months she had finally found out the truth. She was nothing but something that was in between them, she wasn't anything but something that was stopping Kira from his goal. She stopped running as she hit the 10th Division.

She looked at the building; this was the only place that she could ever clear her head. Ever since the beginning of her and Hisagi's relationship, she could always come here to talk about it. She walked closer to it, like a moth to a flame, her eyes watering as she tried to take all of it in.

"Hinamori?" the captain walked out of the 10th Division to look at her, taking notice to the tears that were running down her cheeks. "What's going on?"

Hinamori walked closer. "I need to talk to you… I know something terrible…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Once I'm able to get in there, I can get more information on what we are trying to accomplish," Hisagi announced as he bandaged his arm, his eyes falling on Isane. "I need you to stay here with Renji to prevent him from getting into anymore trouble," he grabbed Kyouka Suigetsu putting it into its sheath. "We need to get even more information about these beasts and why Aizen wanted to use them?"

Renji shook his head. "You're not going in there alone!"

"I'm not going alone," Hisagi answered.

"Those things have killed five hundred and sixty seven shinigami, some of them seated officers. You think that one man with a bum heart is going to be able to take them out?" Renji rose from the bed. "If you go, I go…"

"We can't both go…"

"Why not?" Renji asked as he looked at the 9th Division captain. "I swore I would protect you. I'm a man of my word. If you die, how am I going to explain that? That I was too chicken shit to do anything about it? I'm not going to have that be the explanation for how this happened."

"You can't go, you're barely healed!" Hisagi breathed as he looked over at him. "If you even try to move you'll just be another statistic!"

"And if I don't _you_ will," he took a deep breath. "Let's be statistics together…" Hisagi looked up at him, a confused look on his face. "The Soul Society, they don't give a shit about any of us here. They want us all to die so they can close the door on this whole case. I say we should go out with a bang, no holding back. An all out fight…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "They don't care do they? To them I'm a menace and you, you're a sympathizer. We're just two things that need to get out of their way until they are finally able to put Aizen behind them. Relieve themselves from the pain, erase the memories, burn every trace of him coming back. They won't rest until we're dead and gone. So let's put them to rest, or blow so deep into this shit that they won't know what hit them," he turned toward the door. "Come with me, Renji… come and let's do what we sent here to do."

Renji took a deep breath as he looked over at Hisagi a smile on his face. They were going to end this: one way or another.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What exactly do you know that's horrible?" Hitsugaya asked as he sat Hinamori on the couch.

Her eyes looked around the office and she remembered the clicking of Hisagi's heels, remembering the kiss that they had experienced within these walls. She shook her head as she tried to get all of the pain that she had caused out of her head. Everything that had happened in the past few days only proved that the life that she had once known was falling apart. She closed her eyes tightly as she tried to forget all about the words that Kira said.

"Hinamori?" Hitsugaya asked. "What is it?"

Hinamori took a deep breath. "It's about Kira…" she shook her head. "And Hisagi…"

She tried to speak to him, but every moment she could just think about what she had done. She was taken over by the thoughts of Hisagi's lips up against Kira's, those cold blue eyes looking at her as the man that she professed she loved continued to kiss at him, moaning his name deep in his throat. All of the visions of the two of thme together made her sick to her stomach. All this time, Kira had been hiding his true motives. She felt like she had been used.

"What about them?" the 10th Division captain asked, his voice filled with curiosity as he remembered what she had said outside of the building, the wake of her devastation still upon his face.

She shook her head. "I don't know… Hisagi and I… we're falling apart. He's in another dimension, but still I know that we're falling apart. Kira… he's behind it. It's his fault. Kira's the one who's breaking us… for his own selfish needs. He loves him… and he'll do anything to take him away from me."

Hitsugaya shook his head. "Hinamori… listen to me. Hisagi can still choose you no matter what Kira says."

"But what if I kissed Kira? And that's why I missed the captain's meeting?" she bowed her head, trying to avoid the stare of her childhood friend. "I've spent days locked up in his office…"

"Did you sleep with him?" Hitsugaya's voice was full of concern.

Hinamori shook her head. "No. No, I didn't… but how can I even look at Hisagi after all of this? I have done so much against him."

Hitsugaya moved to sit next to her on the couch, his glance connecting with her eyes. "Hinamori, what you did isn't terrible. He can take you back. He will take you back. He loves you…"

She looked into his eyes, her whole body shaking as she saw something deep within them. Her skin was on fire as she looked deeper, she knew that it was wrong, but she had already broken everything that she had once held high. Hisagi was shattering in front of her, dying, bleeding; she was destroying him with every movement of her body. As she leaned in closer, she knew that there was no turning back, and as he lips touched Hitsugaya's she knew that there was no return.

She kissed up against him deeply and in the first time in a long time, she could no longer think of Hisagi, the two of them were already breaking before her vision. No matter what she did, they were never going to be together again. His lips moved up against hers as she moved her hands to slide his sword off of his body. His hands moved to pull her hair down, pushing her haori off of her body. And with every moment she regretted less and less.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi grasped Kyouka Suigetsu tightly, his other hand moving to his heart, a slight pulsation of pain rolling through his body. He looked over his shoulder to see if Renji noticed, the other captain's attention bandaging his neck, covering the scar. He looked back at Kyouka Suigetsu as he pushed his hand harsher against his chest, trying to quell the pain that was rolling through him.

"This scar is never going to heal…" Renji breathed as he finished wrapping his neck. "I guess I'm going to be stuck scarred for the rest of my life…"

"Scars aren't as bad as people make them out to be. I should know. And it'll make it easier to explain to Rukia what happened, because you know that she's going to be there for you when you come back," Hisagi placed his zanpakutou in it's sheath. "Hinamori probably hates me…"

Renji walked toward Hisagi. "Yeah, she probably does… but all the more reason for you to fix it when you come back."

"If I even want Hinamori after I'm done here. I mean she's great but I can't hurt her with these feelings for Kira…" he looked over his shoulder at Renji. "You have it so easy…"

Renji took a deep breath. "Easy, who's the one who almost got ripped to shreds? I almost died back there…" he looked forward into the night sky. "You really came through for me, Hisagi-san. I want you to know that I'm forever grateful. Whatever happens, I'm glad I went down with you…"

Hisagi bowed his head. "You saved me a while back… it was only fair…"

Renji smiled as he kept looking outside. "I don't know what those things were, but they took enough of my blood and scar tissue to find out what it was that it injected me with," he looked over at Hisagi, both captains looking at each other. "I don't want anything like that to happen to you."

"Don't think I can take it?"

"I don't think anyone could take it. It's the most painful experience I have ever felt. They don't just suck your blood: they suck your soul out. I'm lucky I survived. But you must taste really good…" Renji smirked as Hisagi chuckled. "I'm serious. Aizen had some sort of phenomenal cosmic power bullshit; last I checked phenomenal cosmic powers taste really good."

"Or I could taste like ass…" he laughed as he took a deep breath. "But with sixty percent Aizen I probably attract them more…"

Renji moved closer to Hisagi, his hand moving to his chest. Hisagi closed his eyes as he felt Renji's hand feel his heartbeat, trying to sense the rhythm. The pulsations of pain continued as he closed his eyes tighter, water rolling down his cheeks. Feeling the hand shake up against his chest, he knew Renji had caught on.

"Your heart's been acting up…" his voice was quiet.

"Yeah…" Hisagi winced as another wave went through.

"Have you been taking your medication?"

"Seeing as I'm not among the death toll, yes I have," Hisagi ran his hand along his scar. "He's close. He's the one behind this…"

Renji took a deep breath. "I used to doubt you, but I can't anymore. This is his castle and this is his world. Before he died he did something, these beasts are made up of him, I know it. They're the reason why you're acting up…"

Hisagi ran his fingers along the necklace that Matsumoto had given him. He was going to come back, with this necklace in his hand or on his dead body. He looked over at Renji seeing the smile shine across his face, the two of them ready to risk everything, put everything that they had into this last battle. As he looked into the horizon he knew that all that he knew was about to change.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira closed his eyes as he rested his head on the desk, looking into the corner as he took a deep breath. He was completely ruined. He was humiliated. How could he say all of that to Hinamori? He reached his hand out to grab a bottle of sake that had become his best friend, his lover, his everything. He grasped the bottle bringing it to his lips as he took a long swig of its contents, the fire setting him ablaze. He took a deep breath as he put the bottle down, sitting up at his desk. What had he become the past couple of days.

He then heard footstep, breaking his stupor. "What are you doing here, Matsumoto-san?"

Matsumoto walked into the office. "You've been locked in here for days, just wanted to see how you were holding up…"

"How do you think I'm holding up?"

Matsumoto looked at the bottle. "Not good… Shuuhei and Renji go off to war and you take their chairs as the head of the alcoholism department?"

Kira looked over at the bottle as he took a deep breath. "I guess…"

Matsumoto moved closer to him. "What's going on, Kira? You're becoming depressed again. What's it about this time? Is it about the war? Is it about missing more than a few captain's meetings?"

"No… it's about _him_…" Kira breathed as he grasped the bottle. "I've done something terrible… so very terrible…"

Matsumoto cocked her head to the left as she heard those words. "What did you do?" he didn't answer, he just let out a single sob. "What did you do?"

"What does it matter? Even if I tell you, you can't take it back. You can't make any of the pain disappear," Kira moved the bottle closer until it was almost touching his lips. "The only one who can help me is in my hands…"

"Alcohol? You think that alcohol can solve your problem? It can make the pain go away for a little while, but when you drink the last drop, there goes all of your relief. Alcohol never helped anyone… look what it did to Hisagi. He ran into the enemy lines and almost got himself killed. Do you want that to happen to you?" Matsumoto rested her hands up against the desk. "Kira, what's going on?"

Kira took a sip of the bottle. "Hisagi… funny you should mention him… seeing as he's the reason why I'm in so much pain. After all of this time… I told myself… I knew how I felt about him. I always knew how I felt about him…"

"Kira…"

Kira bowed his head as he took a deep breath. "I have tried to conceal it, but it's always going to be there… it's always going to be eating away at me. Every time I see him, every time I hear his voice, every time I feel his presence. It's always going to be there… and he won't even care…"

Matsumoto closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "What did you do?"

Kira shook his head; he could no longer hide it. "I kissed Hinamori…"

"Just kissed? You didn't sleep with her did you?"

"No!" Kira's body shot up to an upright position as he looked at the lieutenant. "I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to kiss those lips, taste any remnants of his love, a love that I crave but will never have. He's so high above me, I'll never reach it."

Matsumoto was taken aback as she stepped away from Kira. "You hurt him to get closer to him? Are you crazy?"

"When it comes to Hisagi: _yes_," Kira looked around the office. "I've barricaded myself in here for weeks, sending Sentarou to do everything for me. I don't know how to live in a world where he's gone…" he fell deeper into the desk. "How can I? How can I face him after what I've done? How can I look him in the eye knowing that I destroyed everything for him?"

"Kira…"

"I love him…" he closed his eyes tightly as he buried his face in his arms. "I love him so damn much, Matsumoto-san…"

Matsumoto walked closer to sit on the desk, her hand resting on the back of Kira's head, running her fingers through his blond hair. He closed his eyes tighter as tears starting to form. After all of this time, he knew that there was no way he could ever be with him. He belonged to Hinamori. He would believe her side of the story.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked out of the 10th Division office as he struggled to put her hair back up. She could only look at the floor, not looking at all of the members of the 10th Division. All that was running through her mind was Hisagi. She knew that after what had happened, she could never be with him again.

_Maybe he should go off with Kira, _she felt a single tear roll down her cheek. _His blow to him was far better than my own…_

* * *

This chapter tackled a lot of drama in the main love triangle. And both of them made a mistake. Hinamori did the unthinkable and Kira was using Hinamori to get closer to Hisagi. This is a main conflict for when Hisagi returns to the Soul Society in _Broken Wings_. Another thing is the war is coming to an end, one last onslaught.

The next chapter is going to have the aftermath of Kira and Hinamori's mistakes.

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Only three chapters left!


	8. Chapter 8

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, and references to Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, war, violence, blood, sexual content, and references to rape. There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, I'll most likely catch them later.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Kira looked out the window to see that a new day had come, not wanting to move from his position at his desk. For weeks, he had not left the comfort of his office, waiting for the day when Hisagi was going to walk through the door and the two of them can finally confront each other. Everyday that passed, he felt that sensation slowly leaving his body until it was no more.

"Taichou…" Sentarou walked into the office. "There's another meeting today. They're summoning you…"

"Tell them that I'm indisposed," he looked out the window.

"Taichou, they're _summoning _you. It's important!" the lieutenant wasn't letting up. "You can't give up your duties as a captain; people are starting to question your authority over this division…"

Kira rose from the desk. "Let them…"

Sentarou took a deep breath as he walked closer to his captain. "Taichou, I know that you're in pain. I know that you're trying to avoid hearing about his injuries, but you know that you have to go," his voice was bordering on desperation. "Please…"

Kira bowed his head as he turned away. "Sentarou, as your captain… I command you to go tell them that I'm not going to show up today…"

Sentarou turned away and walked out of the room, Kira falling back into his chair. After all of this time, he was getting updates through talk of the other divisions. Every now and then Sentarou would find some information which he thought would be consequential. Kira closed his eyes as he thought about everything that could be happening in Hueco Mundo. It was such a mystery. He looked around the room; he knew that he had to break free.

Every moment that passed, something was occurring in Hisagi's life, in updates that he never heard. He was so close to him, yet Kira was pushing himself so far away. But how could he even get closer to him after all that he had done? How could he even say his name after everything that he had broken? He closed his eyes as he knew that he had to let it all go.

He moved from his desk as he moved closer to the door, leaving the office behind. All he could think of was the last moments where he could say that he loved him without breaking anymore hearts. He opened the door as he took a deep breath. This was the first step to a whole new life for him.

New day: new Kira.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The captains all walked into a room, lining up as they looked up at Ukitake. Over the past few weeks, Ukitake had become haggard, dark circles forming under his eyes as the pressure started to build. None of them had been spared from the strain as they all could feel the war coming to its climax. Everything was coming to an end.

Ukitake looked at all of the captains. "I know that we've all been on edge for a while… but I assure you that everything is going to change…"

"How?" Hinamori asked as she looked up at Ukitake.

"I got a message from Hisagi Shuuhei last night, they're planning one last assault on Las Noches," the room went silent as all of the captains no longer felt like speaking. "This is getting serious now."

Komamura shook his head. "Hisagi shouldn't even be setting one foot in that palace…"

"I told him that… he wouldn't listen. He and Abarai have made up their minds. They are going to risk everything to find out what the next step of the plan is…" Ukitake bowed his head. "We've already lost six hundred men… the death toll is only going to climb higher."

Kyouraku looked up at Ukitake. "And even though you're higher ranked than them, they still choose to go on with this? You can order them to stop."

"Even if I could, why would I do such a thing? They have done everything in their power to stop this situation… and here we are doing absolutely nothing, thinking we have all of the answers," Ukitake shook his head. "I should have known it would come down to this."

"You did," Kurotsuchi answered. "And that's why you picked the way you did…"

"If he knew it would be an all out battle he would have picked the beasts in the 11th Division to lead," Hitsugaya breathed. "I can assure you that."

"If he did, we would have won this war already," Zaraki scoffed.

"Or died in the process…" Hitsugaya looked over at the 11th Division captain. "Let's face it, you'd just run in there, completely unprepared and get yourself killed. And who do you think would have made a proper partner for you?"

"The 12th Division could have helped him with the tact," Hinamori answered Hitsugaya's question, the 10th Division captain looking over at her. "But I can't say that he would last much longer…"

"And you think that Abarai and Hisagi can do any better?" Kurotsuchi scoffed. "Just because he's your special lady doesn't mean you have to stick up for him all the time…"

"He's not my special lady!" Hinamori cried out.

"I really hate to break this up, but can you all just shut up," Kuchiki looked over at the bickering captains. "We came here for a reason. If you could just shut your face for one meeting Kurotsuchi maybe we'd get more done!"

"Why so edgy?" Zaraki asked. "Worried about your boyfriend Aizen…"

"That's enough!" Kyouraku looked straight at Zaraki.

"What do these meetings matter to you anyway?" Hinamori asked, looking at Kyouraku. "You just want to murder Hisagi anyway…"

"Talk to your friend over there, he wants him dead too…" Kyouraku pointed at Hitsugaya.

"That's because he has his eyes set on Hisagi's _assets_," Kurotsuchi smiled.

"I'm going to kill you if you don't shut up!" Hitsugaya roared as he took a step toward him.

At that moment, they all heard the doors open, all of the attention moving to what was in the doorway. Some people gasped, some people were speechless, but Ukitake could only smile as he saw Kira Izuru walk through the door. A dark cloud had been lifted from his heart. It seemed at long last, something was going right.

"Sorry I'm late," Kira announced as he walked to place, looking at Hinamori as he moved past her.

"It's alright," Kuchiki smiled at him, in shock that he had showed up.

"We were just talking about Hisagi's special lady," Zaraki informed Kira.

"What about her?" Kira asked as he looked over at Hinamori. "Did she do something wrong?"

Hitsugaya's eyes never left Kira. "No, she didn't do anything wrong. There are just some people here who think that some people are after her," his eyes narrowed as he looked deeper at the 3rd Division captain.

"Don't look at Ichimaru-kun like that," Kurotsuchi rolled his eyes. "He's after Aizen part two, remember?"

Kira sighed. "No change since I left?"

"They've gotten worse," Ukitake rested his chin on his fist. "And no matter what anyone does, you can't stop them. Believe me, I've tried everything. These meetings always go like this: I say something. Then either Zaraki or Kurotsuchi say something completely irrelevant. Then someone takes offense to it. And then they all just start arguing and it all goes to hell."

"You're the leader, shouldn't you do something?" Soi Fong asked.

"Just wait… we'll get back on topic…" Ukitake looked over at Hitsugaya.

"We're at a meeting!" Hitsugaya announced.

"Hitsugaya-taichou is right," Hinamori continued, Hitsugaya's eyes falling onto her. "We have to behave. Think about it, Abarai and Hisagi are out there fighting for their lives, and we're here tearing each other apart? Completely ridiculous!"

"What do you propose we do?" Soi Fong asked, looking at Hinamori.

"We can't do anything. Hisagi isn't going to listen to reason. Why should he? If he even tries to come back here we're all going to hang him from the nearest tree and set him on fire…" Hinamori looked over at Hitsugaya.

"You know that's not what I want to do," the 10th Division captain whispered.

"Bullshit! You! Kyouraku! Soi Fong! Kurotsuchi! Zaraki! You all want him dead! Even Ukitake wants him to die! It's split down the middle for what we want. He has no reason to trust half of us!" Hinamori's voice was on the verge of breaking. "The only one here who he can trust all the way… is Kira!"

Kira stopped breathing for a second. "What do you mean?"

"You couldn't hurt any part of him without feeling guilty," she took a deep breath. "You're a good friend, Kira-kun…"

Ukitake looked around the room. "I guess all we can do is wait until they come back," he looked around the room. "I will summon you again when we have more information… meeting adjourned," the captains started to walk away. "Byakuya, stay behind for a few minutes, I have something to ask you…"

Kuchiki stayed behind as he looked up at the captain commander. "Yes, sir…"

"I need you to help me out with something…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hinamori!" Kira called out as he walked behind her.

"I don't want to talk to you, Kira," Hinamori kept looking forward.

Kira didn't let up as he continued to walk behind her. He moved faster and faster until he moved to look her in the eye. As he looked into those irises, he knew something was wrong. This was beyond the damage that he had caused. She had done something wrong. He moved to place a hand on his shoulder, watching her eyes fall on it, her whole body shaking. He closed his eyes as he could feel the pain that was within her.

"Hinamori-kun," he breathed as he tightened his grip. "Why did you say that back there? What I was a good friend? Are you trying to make me feel worse?"

"Why did you show up?" her voice was venomous.

"I'm a captain too. I've been a captain longer than you have."

"By a few weeks," she shook her head as she tried to fight away from his grip. "Let go of me…"

"Why did you say that? Why?" he could feel his eyes sparkling with the start of tears. "Why, you horrid wretch?"

"You are a good friend, Kira-kun…" she shook her head. "You saved him from going off with a whore…"

"Whore? Hinamori-kun?" Kira smiled nervously. "How are you a whore?"

"How many people have _you _slept with?" Hinamori asked.

Kira blushed. "Hinamori…!"

"One?" Hinamori asked, her eyes watering.

Kira closed his eyes as he wrapped his mind around that question, swallowing hard. "N-none…"

Hinamori froze in place. "You're a…? You're a virgin?" she shook her head, trying desperately to get back on topic. "That only makes me worse…"

"How many have you slept with?" he asked as he moved closer to her.

"Three," she breathed.

"That's not a whore, Hinamori!" Kira smiled, his voice finally calm. "Holy Hell, I thought that you were going to say fifteen…"

"I didn't finish…" Hinamori answered.

Kira took a deep breath as he looked into her eyes, there was something wrong. There was something that she wasn't telling him. As he looked deeper at her, he knew that there was more to the three than he thought there was. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so much that he wanted to know, but as he looked at her, he knew that now wasn't the proper time. Yet he knew that he wasn't asking for himself. He was asking for Hisagi. It was as if he had possessed him for just a mere moment.

"Who?" Kira asked.

Hinamori announced the first name. "Aizen…"

Kira froze as he heard that name. "A-Aizen? Like the asshole who screwed you over Aizen? Like the guy who almost got all of us killed on numerous occasions? The guy who killed Yamamoto-soutaichou? The guy who used to belong to the heart that's in Hisagi's chest?"

"Is there another Aizen?" Hinamori asked.

"I guess I always knew…" Kira breathed. "You were really attached to him…"

"Well you were attached to Ichimaru and you didn't sleep with _him_," Hinamori smiled.

Kira's smile faded. "Who else?"

"Hisagi…"

"Duh…"

She bowed her head before she said the next one. "And…"

"Wait… you slept with Hisagi before you two officially got together?" Kira watched as she looked away. "Oh my God…" his heart was sinking in his chest. "Who?"

He didn't need to ask, he already knew. He could tell the second that he walked into the meeting. Looking at her, he felt himself become disgusted that this is what Hisagi had to deal with. He felt disgusted for wanting her in the beginning. This was a girl who when life wasn't going the way that she wanted, she would move on to someone else to see if they would love her more. He could hardly look at her.

"Hitsugaya…" his voice was low. "You fucked Hitsugaya?"

"It was one time…"

"Fuck one time, Hinamori…" Kira shook his head.

"Please don't tell Hisagi…" Hinamori begged.

"I won't," Kira's voice was still filled with anger as he backed away from her. "Because I know that would break his heart, and I'm not strong enough to do that. You're going to tell him… if you care for him even an ounce, you'll tell him yourself. Let's see how long you and Hitsugaya can last together…" he took a deep breath. "_Slut_…"

"Kira!" she started to walk after him.

"Go to hell…"

As he walked away from her, he could feel the tears that were forming in his eyes. Through it all, he knew that this was going to break Hisagi's heart. Everything that he had once known was about to come crashing down until he came back to a world that he didn't even recognize.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked into Las Noches, his heart racing in his chest. This is what he had to do; he had to go deeper into the core than he ever thought he would before. He closed his eyes as he felt another pain pulse through his chest as he could feel the dark reiatsu deeper within those walls. His breath caught in his throat as he leaned up against the wall, his head swirling in discomfort.

"Are you alright?" Renji asked as he looked at the older captain.

"I'm fine…" he grasped his chest.

"Really, because you look like you're having a heart attack…" Renji moved to place a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to be alright in here?"

Hisagi nodded. "It's not like we have another choice…" he pressed his hand up against his chest as the pain got worse. "He's here, Abarai…"

"Hisagi-san…" Renji fell next to him.

"He's here…" Hisagi looked into the distance. "He's coming closer…"

As his eyes fell into the darkness, he could see a shape walking closer to him. Renji's eyes fell onto the same figure, the two of them freezing in place as they saw something that they never thought they'd see. There before them was another shinigami, possessed, his eyes looking straight at them as they stood still in the darkness of the hallway.

"Don't move…" Renji breathed. "If it can't see us, it can't get us…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as his heart beat harsher. The pain was unbearable as the man came closer to them. He moved his free hand to bite at it to muffle his cries of anguish, Renji holding onto him tighter as he felt him shutter. The man walked differently than the other beasts that they had seen. He didn't have the same red eyes, his teeth weren't sharp, his breathing was level, he seemed almost normal. That's when it came to Hisagi.

_Aizen_, he swallowed hard on the pain as sweat formed on his body.

The man looked into the darkness once and smiled before he walked down another hallway. The pain started to fade as Hisagi could taste blood in his mouth. He released his hand as the pain disappeared. His breath caught in his throat as his whole body shook, his heart racing in his chest.

"What was that thing?" Renji asked. "It saw us, but why didn't it come near?"

"If I were alone, he would have…" Hisagi swallowed painfully, his body shuddering. "That was Aizen Sousuke. He's taken over one of the men… whatever he is; he can't survive without a host. He doesn't have enough power…"

"You found all of that out just looking at him?"

"Aizen and I have a bond. I'm more Aizen then he is," Hisagi looked at the blood running from his hand. "He's looking to bond with my power again."

Renji shook his head. "How did he survive?"

"That's what we're going to find out as we get deeper into Las Noches. If that was Aizen, then we have a lot of work to do," he stood up and started walking down the hallway which Aizen had come from. "Some of our men went that way… I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were killed…"

Renji stood up and started walking alongside him. "And you're going to be alright?"

Hisagi nodded. "Yeah… I'll be fine…" he took a deep breath. "We leave now Renji…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked into the 10th Division. "Hitsugaya-kun…" she looked at the captain sitting at the desk. "Where's Rangiku-san?"

"She's on her way to a lieutenant meeting," he looked up at her. "So if you're looking for her, you'll have to wait a few hours."

"I'm not looking for her… I'm looking for you…" her eyes never left Hitsugaya's. "I have a question to ask you… why?"

Hitsugaya stood up and turned away. "Hinamori… please don't…"

"We had sex, Hitsugaya!" her voice broke as she said those words. "You can't sit there and pretend that we didn't. We slept together right here in this office… on this couch!"

"You have Hisagi…"

"He'll never have me again," she shook her head. "After I tell him what happened he won't even look at me anymore…" she moved closer to him. "I wasn't the only one who wanted to do this… you wanted it as much as I did… you didn't give a shit about Hisagi! Stop pretending like you do…"

"I'm not pretending anything…" he shook his head. "And like you give a shit about him? You came in here crying about how you're losing him. You lost him before we slept together; you lost him the second that he kissed Kira…"

"You really think that?"

"His heart belongs to Kira, it always has. The only difference is that you were there for him when he needed somebody. He latched onto you. And now that he has that twisted heart in his chest, he thinks you're the only one who will ever want him…"

Hinamori shook her head. "That's not true…"

"Ask him when he gets back," Hitsugaya shook his head. "I don't want you to get hurt. He's going to leave you…"

"And sleeping with me prevents me from getting hurt?" Hinamori shook her head as she fought the tears. "I cheated on him…"

"He cheated on you! But he did you worse because he actually meant it. He wanted to kiss Kira, body and soul. You only slept with me because you felt guilty about what you did!" he stepped forward. "He fucked up worse…"

"You didn't mean it either," Hinamori turned around as she started to leave the office, hearing Hitsugaya's voice stopping her.

"What if I did mean it?"

She turned around to say one single sentence. "But you didn't…"

He walked forward and closed the door forcefully, taking her lips in a passionate kiss, pushing her against the wall. She closed her eyes as she ran her fingers through his white hair. This was a different kiss than the one that she had shared with Kira. There was no pain. She didn't think of Hisagi. And now she knew what. No matter how much she cared for Hisagi, no matter how much she loved him, it wasn't her lips he was supposed to be kissing. This whole time, the lips that he was supposed to be kissing were Kira's.

* * *

This chapter is strengthening the love traingle and maybe give you an idea as to who Hisagi is going to choose. This also was the first alleged "appearance" of Aizen since his death in _Falling Petals_. This also opens the door to the possibility of HitsuHina.

The next chapter is going to have more of the war as well as reveal who the potential lieutenant of the 9th Division is.

Like what you read? Feel free to Private Message me a request (see profile for details).

Also feel free to leave a review, I take every word that you say to heart, and the more reviews the faster I update (well, that's one of the contributing factors...)!

And if you haven't already support this story in the polls for faster updates (polls will remain open until the story's close).

Only two or three chapters left, depending on how well I can close this up!


	9. Chapter 9

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi/Kira, slight Hisagi x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, and references to: Ukitake/Byakuya and Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, war, violence, blood, sexual content, and very small reference to rape. There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, I'll most likely catch them later when I read through this (even though it usuall takes me five read throughs until I catch most of the mistakes).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hisagi kept running down the hall as he felt the pains start to disappear. _He's left, that means whatever this is has been left completely defenseless_. He moved faster and faster still as he could sense the scent of evil in the air. He closed his eyes as he could sense the same beast that had tried to kill Renji earlier. Every second he could feel the pressure.

"Wait," Renji breathed as they walked closer to their doom, stopping them just short of the doorway. "Tell me what's going on here… that was Aizen?"

"Either that or something made by him, his reiatsu was in there, that's the only thing that can set off a reaction like that," Hisagi placed a hand over his chest. "I've never felt anything like that before, it's a reaction that Tousen told me about. Whenever Aizen comes near…"

"Yeah, yeah, heart attack… I get it," Renji placed his hands on Hisagi's shoulders. "You can't say that was Aizen. No matter what you do, unless we can prove it, you can't say anything. They'll think you're crazy…"

Hisagi looked into his eyes. "I think I know when they think I'm crazy. They definitely _will_ think I'm crazy if I say all of those alleged lies," he looked away. "That is _if_ we ever get back. If that Aizen, we're as good as dead. But if I die, I'm glad I died with you by my side."

"Me too, there's no better man to die beside than you, Hisagi-san."

"It's like we didn't do anything all war…" his voice was quiet.

"But in this single onslaught we'll make up for it," Renji smiled.

"It was a hell of a vacation," Hisagi looked through the door.

Renji took a deep breath. "If we make it out alive, what's the first thing you're going to do?"

"I have a choice to make," Hisagi looked through the doorway.

"Do you know who you're going to choose?" Renji asked, his eyes looking into the doorway, hearing heavy breathing coming close to them.

"I do, for once in my life, I know what I want to choose," he looked over at Renji. "What are you going to do?"

Renji's eyes moved to look at Hisagi. "Tell Rukia I love her…" he took a step forward. "But enough talk, we need to fight. Otherwise we won't be going home at all…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he walked forward. This was everything. This was his past. This was his present. This was his future. As he walked forward, he knew that there was no turning back. He could feel the necklace that Matsumoto gave him close to his chest and he knew it was all coming to an end. He was going to win this.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"They're coming home soon," Matsumoto announced. "That's what I heard Ukitake-soutaichou and Kuchiki-taichou talking about. I guess celebratory preparations are in order…"

"Is that all you can think about, celebration?" Nanao asked.

"Well if you were close to any of the soldiers coming home, you would understand," the 10th Division rolled her eyes at Nanao, not wanting to pay attention to her. "But that's not all they've been talking about."

"I know what you mean, before this meeting, I saw Ukitake-soutaichou and Kuchiki-taichou go into the 6th Division office to talk about the lieutenant position in the 9th Division. They're looking for one…" Yumichika explained. "I have no clue who they're going to pick…"

Ikkaku sighed. "Probably some guy we've never heard of before. All of the strong seated officers have been promoted to fukutaichou already," he looked over at Yumichika. "Our captains sure have been close these days."

"A rival for Kyouraku?" Yumichika asked as he looked at Nanao who was sitting right next to him.

"My captain isn't threatened by yours, Ayasegawa," Nanao sneered. "He has more important things to focus on."

"Yeah guys, he has that lynching mob to form," Matsumoto scoffed.

"And your captain would be the first one there with the torch," Nanao continued. "My captain wants to save Hisagi-taichou's pride. _Your _captain wants to destroy Aizen. He doesn't care when or how it happens; he wants to be rid of him."

Ikkaku shook his head. "Do we ever stay on topic?"

"Have these meetings always been like this?" Rukia looked over at Iba.

"No, when Hisagi, Kira, Hinamori, and Abarai were here we actually used to get shit accomplished. And Kotetsu used to help get the goals accomplished to. Then again, that's probably because when they were here nobody wanted to kill each other," Iba sighed as he looked over at Rukia. "You must be relieved though, Abarai's returning soon…"

"I'll see if he does return, and then we'll see if I'm happy…" Rukia smiled as she looked around the room. "Doesn't feel that long…"

"That's because it hasn't been…" Yumichika announced. "It's been like only a couple months since they left us? And we all know that Hisagi's been doing fine, he's the one who's been sending the messages to Ukitake-soutaichou…"

"And Renji?" Rukia's eyes were wide as she asked about her fiancé.

"He had a close call, but last we checked he's alive," Yumichika bowed his head.

"How do you know all of this?" Matsumoto asked.

"Like I said, his captain has become unnaturally close to mine…" Ikkaku sat back as he stretched his arms. "They do _everything _together. If you ask me, Kuchiki-taichou is probably the next soutaichou…"

"Isn't he a little young?" Matsumoto asked. "He's not that much older than me…"

"No one fights like him, and he's intelligence is even higher than Ukitake-soutaichou himself," Ikkaku looked at the 10th Division lieutenant. "And his ties to nobility are also tilting the scales in his favor."

"That's crazy talk," Rukia shook her head. "Nii-sama is more of a beta person than an alpha…"

"Your brother has been acting different for months now…" Yumichika explained. "He hasn't been the same tight-ass that we all knew him as. _Way _more laid back. If getting stabbed through the chest and falling into a coma does that to someone's personality, then there are countless people who need to get into line for that…"

"Kuchiki is probably the one who's going to have to research about the new lieutenant…" Iba took a deep breath. "After all, he's better at these kinds of things."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kuchiki walked through the halls of the 7th Division, watching many of the shinigami acknowledge him. He didn't even spare them a glance. His orders were absolute. All he could think about what everything that Ukitake had told him. Go to Komamura and discuss lieutenants with him. As he made it to the office, he saw the 7th Division captain looking out the window.

"What is it, Kuchiki-taichou?" he asked as he turned around.

"I've come from Ukitake-soutaichou," Kuchiki took a deep breath as he walked deeper into the office as he closed the door behind him. "I've come to discuss what's going on with the 9th Division…"

Komamura's eyes filled with fear, his voice shaking. "Is Hisagi alright?"

"He's fine…" Kuchiki smiled. "He seems like he's confident that he's going to come back, and our faith is in him. My concern is getting him a lieutenant…"

"Ukitake-dono assigned you with that task?" Komamura asked as he moved to sit at the desk. "And what does this have to do with me?"

Kuchiki closed his eyes as he moved closer. "You were really close with Tousen Kaname…"

"_Were_ being the main word, I want you to remember that. I don't think that I can ever relate myself to him as much as I used to. Not after what he did to the Soul Society, not after what he did to Hisagi. I will _never _forgive him for that…" Komamura looked deeply at the 6th Division captain, watching him freeze in place. "Still, what does this have to do with Hisagi Shuuhei?"

Kuchiki smiled faintly as he continued his proposal. "No one knows the 9th Division like you. There are others who know Hisagi extremely well, but Kira isn't equipped to take this responsibility with me…"

"And _I_ am?" Komamura asked. "And why are you able to take this responsibility? What has Ukitake-dono promised you?"

"Orders are orders, I follow Ukitake-soutaichou until the end," Kuchiki closed his eyes as he tried to cover up everything that he and Ukitake had been through together in the past few weeks. "Are you going to help me?"

Komamura sighed. "What do you need?"

"I have a recommendation for the lieutenant position of the 9th Division, both Ukitake-soutaichou and I approve of the choice, but he seems adamant that you also should approve of the choice. You know Hisagi; you are the only one who supports him for the right reasons. You see something in that boy that no one can see. You see someone who could one day surpass you, me, and even Ukitake-soutaichou himself…"

"That's because of his newfound power…"

"That power is his now, it always will be until you rip that heart out of his chest. You're the only one who fully understands that he will be able to control it, use it as his own, and show us that it wasn't the power that made Aizen Sousuke evil, but the way that he used it," Kuchiki almost choked on that man's name as the memories started to rush back. "You know his potential, and you know who is going to aid that potential…"

"Who did you have in mind?" Komamura asked.

Kuchiki took a deep breath as he said the name. "Kurosaki Ichigo…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked into the room, Kyouka Suigetsu drawn as he saw what used to be soldiers of the Soul Society looking through the dark, trying their hardest to find his reiatsu. _Control it, don't let too much leak out, they'll ambush you_. He tried to slow his breathing down as he could hear the harsh respiration coming closer to them. _There has to be twenty in there, and I can't even see where Abarai is, I can't sense him._ He swallowed hard as he could hear the footsteps coming closer.

"Taichou, come out! We're alright…"

He tried to control his breathing as he felt them come closer.

"Don't panic, I sense you panicking. It's alright. Calm down, we're here now…"

Hisagi could feel a tear roll down his cheek as he could see those eyes shining in the darkness. His body froze as he heard a screech, his more water running from his eyes. He swallowed hard as he tried to move away from them, the room was too dark. He grasped onto Kyouka Suigetsu tighter with his right hand, his left hand holding onto the hilt of Kazeshini. He gulped painfully as he walked into the darkness. That was when he felt the hands on his arms. Involuntarily, he screamed.

"It's me," Renji called out as he pulled him into the hallway, Hisagi shaking in his grip. "It's me, Hisagi… it's me…" he pulled him into an embrace, feeling his body continue to convulse. "Wow, I've never seen you like this before. It's like I've been thrown into a war with Kira…"

"There are twenty of them, and they're looking for us, and I can't find our men… and… and… this was a really bad idea. Why didn't you talk me out of this? All of our men are dead."

"Shhh… it's alright, they're not _all_ dead… surely…"

"They're dead! I saw them, Abarai! They have become those beasts, and it's all my fault. I should have protected them."

"You're talking crazy now…"

"They're looking for me, they're looking for their revenge," Hisagi then looked at his wrist, seeing the teeth marks; they weren't the ones from when he bit his hand. "I've… I've been bitten… when the hell…?"

Renji's eyes were wide as he looked at the wound. "Hisagi-san…" Hisagi's body started to shake as he fell to his knees. "Oh my God!" he pulled the wrist to his sight. "Are you sure they bit you? How do you feel?"

They could hear the monsters coming closer to them, Renji drawing Zabimaru as he wrapped his arm around Hisagi's body. Hisagi could see the beasts coming closer and closer as he held out his hand closing his eyes tightly.

"Hado 90: Kurohitsugi!" he watched as the first ten men fell to the ground in a bloody mess. _This is what it has come down to, me killing my own men, killing soldiers who have come here to defend our cause. Aizen, you truly are a monster._

"Hisagi-san!" Renji yelled as Hisagi fought free from his grip. "Are you going to kill all of them?"

"Do you know anyway to extract the beast from their bodies, if not then they are now our enemy… we have to destroy them if we want to survive," Hisagi looked over his shoulder at Renji. "That's what Ukitake-soutaichou said to you about me, right? That if Aizen even for a second took over my body, you had to kill me…"

"Hisagi-san…"

"They are no longer with us, they are no longer on our side, they want to kill us, Abarai! These beasts, I saw what they did to you; I saw what they can do to others. I watched countless men die from their bites back at the tent. I don't want to watch that again. I can't continue to watch as those creatures mock what used to be loyal shinigami," Hisagi watched as the other ten monsters came toward him. "This is what we have to do…" he held on tighter to Kyouka Suigetsu as he watched the glowing red eyes fall upon him. "And maybe I should die with them."

"Don't give it to them…"

"The world wants me dead anyway. It will be an opening so you can get further into the heart of Las Noches."

"This is madness…"

"It's all over. There's nothing more we can do. There's no power in Heaven that can save us now," he took a step forward. "These men, who once stood by me to the end, now want to end everything. So I will humor them, because I don't want to watch you die again…"

"You've lost your mind, the poison; it's getting to your head…" Renji got to his feet as he watched one of the beasts lunge at Hisagi. "Hisagi-san!"

Hisagi felt the teeth penetrate his shoulder, his body shaking as he could finally feel the poison burning at him, his body convulsing violently as he felt the beast suck from him, his head becoming light as he felt the sudden drop in blood pressure. That was when he felt something out of the ordinary happen. The beast backed away and coughed up the blood, its body shaking as it fell to the ground. And before Hisagi could even ask what was happening, he saw the beast die.

"What the fuck?" Renji asked as he looked at the dead man on the ground. "What happened?"

Hisagi ran his fingers through the blood that was on the ground, it didn't seem out of the ordinary. He brought the blood to his lips, licking it up. The taste didn't taste like normal blood, there was something dark, something vile within it. He gagged as he swallowed it, his whole body shaking as the taste took him over.

"Shit," Hisagi gagged again as he pulled his finger away. "_That's_ what this stuff tastes like?"

Renji stared as the other nine beasts stayed away from Hisagi, cowering as they looked down at him. "What did you do?"

"Nothing…" Hisagi looked back at them. "Why aren't they attacking again?"

"Maybe you really do taste like ass?" Renji asked.

"Very funny," Hisagi looked at his bloody fingers. "That thing that just poisoned me fell to the ground and died after only seconds of consuming my blood…" he shook as he grasped onto his shoulder, wincing as the pain, his eyes falling onto the creatures, his heart racing as he reached his hand out as he pointed his fingers at them. "Hado 90: Kurohitsugi…"

As they were consumed by the darkness, Renji moved closer to Hisagi's body holding close to his body as he continued to bleed. Hisagi looked up at the other captain as his body shook. He could see it all coming to a close.

Everything that he had once held dear was starting to fade before his vision as he gazed as the dead men that surrounded them, his eyes closed tightly as he tried to fight the emotions that were taking him over. He came to this place to regain respect, to show everyone that he was more than a monster, yet the only reason he survived was because of Aizen's power. He didn't prove anything except the fact that he was completely dependent on Aizen. All of the progress he wanted to make was destroyed as he tasted that vile taste in his mouth. He was nothing more than a monster.

"I have to stop the bleeding…" Renji breathed. "Or the spread of the poison…"

"How?" Hisagi asked.

"I could suck it out…"

Hisagi's body froze as he heard that. "No fucking way…" he shook his head. "If you swallow even a drop of that poison you're putting yourself at risk. You don't have to do this!"

"If I don't try to get as much out of you as possible right now, I'm putting you at risk. I volunteered to come here to protect you, _not_ to watch you die… besides, Kira wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I let you die before you revealed your feelings for him…" Renji smiled as he moved toward his shoulder.

"How do you know I'm going to tell Kira…?" he winced as he felt Renji's lips close around the wound. "C-careful now…" he closed his eyes tightly as he felt Renji suck out his blood. "Don't swallow _any_ of it…"

His body froze as Renji backed away and spat the blood out onto the floor before coming back for another mouthful. Hisagi closed his eyes as he felt more of his blood being sucked out of his body. This situation was heavier than he thought it would be.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"_Kurosaki Ichigo_? The _human_?" Komamura shook his head. "Have you lost your mind Byakuya? He's just a boy."

"He's a _substitute shinigami_, and taken that into consideration. We've gone down the lists; all of the suitable seated officers have been promoted. Ayasegawa, Madarame, Kotetsu, Kotsubaki, all of them have been promoted to lieutenant. Even Rukia has been promoted. We have no choice but to enlist him…" Kuchiki tried to ignore the words of Komamura. "Komamura, you know as well as I that Hisagi is going to need all of the help he can get. There are five captains who think he should step down."

"But this situation in Hueco Mundo, we don't even know how serious it is, _Byakuya_."

"It's serious enough to kill six hundred men, _Sajin_," he took a deep breath as he sat down on the couch. "Kurosaki Ichigo can take this… unless you think that he wouldn't be good enough to be Hisagi's vice."

Komamura shook his head. "We don't have much of a choice, now do we? I approve of Kurosaki Ichigo. When do you intend on bringing him back here?"

Kuchiki looked deep into Komamura's eyes as he smiled, the answer coming easily. "The second that we get the message from Hisagi…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji backed away from Hisagi, the 9th Division captain panting as he lay on the ground, his eyes watering in pain. The vision in his eyes was starting to cloud as he looked at all of the blood that was on the floor. Renji had sucked more than enough out of his body, the poison already starting to relinquish its control on him. He could breathe, he could move, everything was starting to feel better when it came to the poison. But as he glanced at the look in Renji's eyes, he knew something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" Hisagi asked as Renji wiped the blood off of his lips.

Renji nodded. "I'm fine…"

Hisagi then realized what had happened almost instantaneously, his heart sinking in his chest as he knew the situation had just grown more serious. "How much did you swallow?"

"_A lot_," Renji's voice was quiet as it shook.

"How much is _a lot_?" Hisagi moved closer to him, his body feeling heavier than he ever thought it would ever feel.

Renji couldn't look at him. "A mouthful," he could tell that Hisagi was upset. "It was an accident!"

"Abarai…" Hisagi's voice was shaking as he looked at the captain, fearing the poison was about to take hold. "How are you feeling?"

"Sick. I just drank your blood," he swallowed as he gagged.

"Don't swallow more!" Hisagi breathed heavily.

"I think once I've swallowed a drop or two to be poisoned. So it doesn't really matter anymore," he couldn't bring himself to look at Hisagi. "But I don't feel strange. I feel amazing, empowered even. It's like sense of euphoria."

Hisagi shivered as he pressed his hand to the gash on his shoulder. "But I've been poisoned. How could it not have affected you? You consumed my blood, and my blood's been poisoned."

Renji shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't feel anything?" Hisagi found he situation hard to understand.

"I feel like I'm going to puke, that's about it. But I did just drink blood," he smiled as he looked over at Hisagi. "I'm alright, I swear I am…" he moved to press his hand against Hisagi's wrist. "Can you move?"

"I'm going to have to," he winced as he tried to get to his feet. "Shit…"

"We're done here," Renji shook his head.

"No… we're not," Hisagi's eyes fell into the room that was ahead of them. "There's something in there, something that we're missing. We have to get into the heart of Las Noches, find the source of these abominations."

"And then we're done?"

"And if we survive, then we're done," his voice was weak as he was flirting with unconsciousness.

"It's alright," Renji whispered, his voice a soft coo. "You can rest for a little while; you've lost a lot of blood."

Hisagi's eyes closed as he felt Renji's hands still on him, his body feeling extremely heavy as gravity was pushing deeply on him. Only one last move and then they were done. Only one last move and then they could go back. Only one last move and then he could go back to the world that he had once known.

_I'm almost there… _he fell deeper into unconsciousness. _Kira… Hinamori…_

* * *

The war is about ready to come to an end and there is the first mentioning of Ichigo (yes, he will be in _Broken Wings_) as well as something else that will be critical to sequels. This story is becoming more critical than I thought.

The next chapter is going to have a shocknig moment that you either expected all along or something that you never would have dreamed of happening. And the Hitsugaya x Hinamori pairing returns.

Like what you read? Feel free to Private Message me a request (see profile for details).

Also feel free to leave a review, I take every word that you say to heart. I love your feedback!

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Only two chapters left, it's the home stretch!


	10. Chapter 10

**Pairings:**This chapter contains Hisagi/Kira, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, slight Hisagi x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, Aizen x Hinamori and a reference Ichimaru/Kira  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:**There is also some OOC, strong language, war, strong violence, a lot of blood, and mild sexual content (nothing too graphic). There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, I'll try to catch them when I read through this again.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Kira waited until the lieutenants all filtered out of the meeting hall, waiting for Iba to exit. After all of the hours of thinking about what had to be done, he knew that he was going to have to confront his emotions. It was tearing away at him as he thought about everything that he could have had and how he threw it all away. That moment, the last moment that he had ever seen him, he had forced him to make a choice. He had asked him to choose between him and Hinamori. Now none of that mattered, wither way he chose, he couldn't win. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath as he thought back to that moment.

That moment, that glory. He could still taste Hisagi's lips on his. He could still feel those fingers up against his flesh. The memories of that day had not worn away, Kira never wanted them to. He remembered that he stopped him that day, something inside of him saying that they shouldn't have gotten caught up in their lust, but now he finally knew why that was. Kira wasn't worthy of Hisagi, he never was. No matter what he did, they were always going to clash with one another.

Kira wished he could go back to that moment where they first kissed each other outside under the stars. It was all so easy back then. No matter what he did, he was always going to be screwing up Hisagi's life. He closed his eyes tightly as he counted down the moments. The last transmission was only hours ago, Hisagi was still on his way to the center of Las Noches.

His attention turned to Iba when he saw him move out of the building. "Iba-san!" he moved quicker to catch up to the lieutenant. "Did you hear anymore news?"

The 7th Division lieutenant turned to look at Kira. "Kira? What are you…?"

"Any more information about Hisagi-san?" Kira watched as the lieutenant turned away. "Please… I need to know…"

"What do you need to know about Hisagi? Last I heard you couldn't even say goodbye to him…"

"There are reasons I couldn't. They were stupid and childish, but I understand I was wrong…" Kira's voice was on the verge of breaking. "Please…"

Iba sighed. "We haven't gotten anything since he said he was about to go into Las Noches. Since then we haven't heard anything…" he turned to walk away. "Now that you've gotten your information you can stop feeling guilty about not saying goodbye…"

Kira shook his head as he walked forward. "You don't get it… it's not that I didn't say goodbye, Iba-san… that's not the reason I'm upset… and it wasn't the fact that I hated him that I didn't say goodbye…" Kira took a deep breath as he knew there was only one thing he could say that would make Iba pay attention. "We almost had sex…"

Iba stopped, turning around, his whole body frozen. "What the hell did you just say?"

Kira swallowed hard as he said it again. "Hisagi-san and I… we almost slept together…" Iba moved closer to him. "It was before he went off to war. He came into the office and we lost complete control. I was so terrified after that… I couldn't see him off. I didn't know what he was doing to me… and I was so scared…"

"Hisagi… almost had _sex_… with _you_?" Iba shook his head. "I thought you two were dueling over Hinamori…"

"Please don't judge him…" Kira took a deep breath. "It was an honest mistake…"

"I don't know about that…" Iba walked closer to Kira. "I think he has feelings for you. I heard about the kiss from Abarai before he left. He said that Hisagi looked pretty into it… he may be more interested in you than you think…"

Kira shook his head. "I need you to tell him something for me. I don't know if I can face him when he gets back. I want you to tell him that I care about him, and I'm very sorry for all of the pain that I caused him… tell him that for me?"

Iba shook his head. "You have to tell him yourself kid… or you're going to regret losing him…"

As Iba walked away, Kira closed his eyes tightly. _How can I even look at him again?_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi opened his eyes to the sound of retching. "Abarai?" he looked over to see blood rolling down Renji's chin, horror enflaming his body as he tried desperately to get to his feet. "You're bleeding!"

"I'm alright," Renji took a deep breath. "This is your blood… I don't know about those creatures, but I don't think we can digest that shit. Not to mention, the whole thought of having you in my stomach is gross…"

Hisagi struggled off of the ground, his vision clouding. "What did we get ourselves into?"

Renji chuckled lightly. "War…"

"This isn't war… this is Hell…" Hisagi could feel the sweat that was coating on his body. "We didn't volunteer for this…"

Renji sighed as he wiped the blood off of his face. "We did…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he tried to regain control of himself, trying to fight the weight that was keeping him down. "I'm sorry I got you into this…"

"Don't be… the way that I see it, we're going to be compensated for this. Think of all of the hits we took. You've practically broken every bone in your body, I've been poisoned, you've been poisoned, and to top it all off I drank your blood…" Renji looked over at Hisagi. "Not to mention, we might be the only survivors of this bloodbath. You did just killed twenty men…"

"And I killed the man who poisoned you…" Hisagi shook his head as he felt Renji's arm lift his shoulders off of the ground. "I think we've killed more men that we were supposed to…"

"You saved my life…" Renji smiled as he wrapped his arms around the shivering captain. "As far as I'm concerned you're the only reason my heart is beating right now…"

Hisagi looked around the palace as he thought about what they had done for the past few weeks. They were both covered with scars from this whole incident, both of them almost losing their lives. Ukitake didn't know what he was throwing them into. But as he sat there in the center of the room with Renji, hearing the screams of the beasts around them, he knew that this was better than the hell that they had come from. Here he was something. Here no one doubted him. When he was here, he felt like he could live forever.

"What happens after this is over?" Hisagi asked.

"You go home and you tell Kira how you feel…" they looked at each other for approximately ten seconds before Renji finished his thought. "I told you, I know that you're going to admit your feelings to Kira and not Hinamori. I see the way that you look at him. I saw your kiss. Did you think I had just walked in when I interrupted you?"

Hisagi tried to conceal a blush. "I was hoping…"

"You hoped wrong…" Renji smirked. "I've never seen you kiss anyone like that before…"

"And exactly how many people have you seen me kiss, _Abarai Renji_?"

"I've seen you kiss Hinamori… and it's nothing like when you kissed Kira. With Kira, there was passion…"

"Too much _passion_, I almost fucked up before I left…" Hisagi pressed his hands to the ground as he was finally able to lift his weight off of the ground. "I don't know what I was thinking…"

"We all have those moments… yours just so happened to be with Kira Izuru…" Renji got to his feet as he looked over at Hisagi. "If I know what you want, why don't you?"

"I guess I just have the habit of trusting someone, getting too attached and then I turn around and they weren't the person I thought they were," Hisagi shook his head. "I'm too trusting…"

"You want to see the good in other people…"

"When I can't even see it in myself?" Hisagi took a deep breath. "I need to do this. I need to prove to myself that there's a reason that I'm still alive… there is a reason for everything… that's what I was told so many times. There's a reason why I survived when the odds were against me. I was chosen to do something, and I can't give up until I know what that is…" he looked over at Renji. "I'm ready now…"

"You sure?" Renji asked as he looked into the 9th Division captain's eyes.

"I'm as sure as I've ever been…" Hisagi started walking forward. "We came here to finish this… no more distractions…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori arose from the couch to look around the office. She had repeated the sin that she was being cursed for. As she took a deep breath, she saw the semi-conscious form of Hitsugaya Toushirou on the couch, his body still close to hers. As she hurriedly got dressed, she could hear the footsteps coming closer to the office. She knew that everything that she was trying to cover up was about to blow up in her face.

"Taichou?" Matsumoto walked through the door, freezing in the doorway. "Hinamori? What are you doing here?"

Hinamori put her haori back on before struggling with her hair. "I needed to ask Hitsugaya-taichou some questions," she put her arms down as she was finished with her hair. "And a lieutenant should knock before interrupting captains."

Matsumoto narrowed her eyes. "What's going on here?"

"What do you mean?" Hinamori walked closer to the lieutenant.

"I know what you were doing, Hinamori-taichou…" Matsumoto barked. "How could you? He's a good man…"

Hinamori smiled. "I know…"

"Not Hitsugaya," Matsumoto's voice was hot with venom. "I was referring to Hisagi… why do you insist on hurting him?"

Hinamori shoot her head. "And he didn't hurt me? He kissed Kira!"

"What did you do? Use him? That's what you did, you used him to help yourself get over Aizen. So you pretend to care about him and then spread your legs for the next guy you see?"

"You don't know what you're talking about…"

"I don't? Who do you think you are? This isn't all about you. You're the same little girl who can't understand what's right in front of you…" she shook her head. "I'm not going to tell Hisagi… I care too much about him."

Hinamori shook her head. "You're not the only one…"

"I'm the only one in this room. Don't forget your rope for the lynch mob. Taichou's already put his name on the list…" Matsumoto turned around to walk out of the room. "I wouldn't doubt if I saw you there with him."

Hinamori closed her eyes as the door slammed, falling to her knees. What was she going to do? What had she become?

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Matsumoto-san!" Kira yelled as he watched the woman come out of the 10th Division. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she couldn't hide it anymore. "But I think your chances with Shuuhei have risen. I found Hinamori in Hitsugaya-taichou's office. The two of them were fucking each other!"

"You saw them?" Kira tried to cover up a blush as his voice was full of embarrassment.

"No, not while they were doing it. After they were done…" Matsumoto shook her head. "This isn't what was supposed to happen…"

"Well, Hinamori-kun does think of herself a lot, and Hisagi does trust her a little too much. But he trusts everyone too much…" he avoided Matsumoto's eyes. "And he trusts me too much… I hurt him too."

Matsumoto took a deep breath. "Whatever you did… it's not worse than what she's doing. And I know how you feel about him. I've known all along. It was never Hinamori. It was always Shuuhei. He was always the one you wanted to be with…"

Kira closed his eyes as his body shook. "How can I forgive myself?"

"You have to tell yourself that it's not that bad. Everyone's allowed a slip, just tell yourself that this isn't going to happen again," she placed her hand on Kira's shoulder. "You're the one…"

Kira shook his head. "I can't be…"

"You are, you're the _only _one who cares about him, and you love him…" Matsumoto looked deep into Kira's eyes. "You know what you want to be with him… so don't hide it anymore…"

Kira looked to the horizon as the sun was starting to set. The days had passed so slowly since the last time that they had seen one another. Now he knew that he was almost ready to come back. _Hisagi-san…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked down the halls as he could hear the screaming that was surrounding him. _Slowly, they're all dying. _He looked around to see the various red lights coming from the beasts' eyes. _Slowly we're losing all of them. _They didn't move as he continued to move down the hallway. _Over a thousand men came to Hueco Mundo, they were put in our care, and here we are surrounded by hundreds of them. We failed…_

"Why aren't they attacking?" Renji asked as he followed Hisagi.

"They can sense Aizen's reiatsu within me…" Hisagi answered.

"Why don't they attack me?" Renji looked at the red eyes as he continued to move forward.

Hisagi took a deep breath. "You swallowed my blood…"

"There's no way in hell that the power got transferred by that, Hisagi-san," Renji didn't want to believe those words. "I'm not a part of Aizen… I just swallowed a mouthful blood. I've swallowed a lot of blood in my life, am I possessed by any of them?"

"This is different…"

"How is this different? Does Aizen have a magical heart that transformed his blood into pure power and if you consume even the tiniest amount you get possessed by him?" Renji looked around watching the men walk closer. "You know that's bullshit…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "Abarai…"

"Don't be afraid… nothing is going to happen. It was just a _mouthful_ of blood. It wasn't like I ate a chunk of your heart…" he chuckled as he said those words. "I'll be fine… calm down…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he looked around. "We have to kill them, don't we?"

Renji nodded. "It's for their own good…"

"I never wanted to do this…"

"I know you didn't…" Renji grasped the hilt of Zabimaru. "You want to go ahead and I'll take care of them?" Hisagi froze at those words. "Your hands have become dirty enough during this war… I want to be the one who's going to save you from feeling like him…"

Hisagi's voice was trembling. "A-Abarai…"

"You feel like a monster… I always told myself I'd be damned if I looked into your eyes and saw nothing again. They all want you to come back to them: Komamura-taichou… Rangiku-san… Hinamori… Kira… Ukitake-soutaichou… they all want you back the way that they remember you. They don't want to see you broken, and neither do I…"

"What are you…?"

"You were right; Ukitake told me that if you were to become Aizen, I would have to stop you. This is my way of stopping you before you give into that part of you. You're not a murderer, you're not a beast, let someone who has bathed his whole soul in blood be the one to end this. Down the hall is where you belong. Now go, or I'll have to shed your blood…" Renji extended Zabimaru. "Go, Hisagi-san… I'll catch up when I finish with this…"

Hisagi continued to walk down the hall as he could hear the screams of the beasts, the bodies falling to the floor. Tears formed in his eyes as his walk turned into a run as he heard at least bodies fall dead to the ground. His heart raced as he tried to escape it all the pain of the war finally catching up to him. And through it all he could only think of the moment that he and Kira had shared in the office before he had left for Hueco Mundo. He could only think of those tears rolling down those cheeks.

As he felt the whole world crash down around him, he finally made it to the heart of Las Noches. He walked into a room, the light shining into the hallway. He moved deeper into the room, the only sound being the clicking of his boots against the ground coupled by the sounds of his labored breathing. He looked around the room as he stood in horror of what he saw.

Beakers, flasks, tubes, machines, it was a science lab. He looked around as he finally understood what was going on. This was the where it all began, by Aizen's hand.

"Fascinating isn't it, _Hisagi-kun_?" Hisagi froze as he heard that voice. "Finally made it to the center of Las Noches, I'm impressed…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he could feel the pain in his chest. "How did you do it? How did you survive?" he turned to face the man what was in the doorway. "_Aizen Sousuke_?"

Aizen took a deep breath as he walked closer. "You can't really die when a part of you is still alive, can you Hisagi-kun? And a part of me is in the center of you chest…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he shook. "You want my heart?"

"I think you mean _my _heart," he moved closer still to the captain, his eyes looking deep into Hisagi's soul. "You're forgetting something: that heart was once in _my_ chest and it's also the reason why _you've_ been able to advance this far. Face it; you're nothing without me…"

"It's my power now…"

"The more you use it, the more you become like me… you know that, right?" he moved closer to the equipment. "You have my sword. You have my kidou skills. Hell, you're even screwing my former lieutenant…"

Hisagi grasped the hilt of his zanpakutou as Aizen laughed.

"Kill me? That's what you're going to do? Didn't you see the moment where Gin tried to do that? The only way he could was to have me stab him first," his laughter started to fade. "And you don't have it in you to kill, just like Kaname…"

Hisagi drew Kazeshini and pointed it at Aizen, his arm shaking as he watched the man not even shudder. "You come here, in another body, to threaten me?"

"Threaten you? If I wanted that heart back right now, I would have torn it out of your chest the second that I saw you arrive here. I've been everywhere. I've watched you sleep, I've watched you fight, I've watched you and that incompetent Abarai walk about this land together, and I never attacked you…"

Hisagi narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Why? Why attack you directly?" Aizen sighed. "I could simply go back to the Soul Society and kill that worthless wretch that you care so deeply about and make you give my power back to me. The wretch that Gin had such _high_ hopes for. The one who was in love with him… what was his name…?"

Before Aizen could say anything, Hisagi thrust the sword forward, to run it through his chest, the body growing silent as the traces of Aizen faded away. He pulled his sword back to see the blood fall to the ground, his own body feeling heavy as he looked at the man what was on the ground.

"Try and kill him now…" Hisagi held onto Kazeshini tightly as he brought the blood closer to his face. "_Motherfucker_…"

He looked at the blood that was dripping from the blade as he brought it closer to his lips, his body craved it. Giving into his lust for blood, he ran his tongue along the blood as he could taste the vileness that was Aizen. He gagged as he dropped Kazeshini to the ground, the sound of echoing through the room.

He looked around at the equipment; he knew what had happened here. He could taste the vileness in the air. As he closed his eyes tightly, he held at his hand, pointing it at the body that was laying on the ground, its dead eyes looking up at him.

"Hado 51: Haien!" he watched as it caught into flames, his body freezing as he could still hear the tone of those words. He closed his eyes deeper as he heard Renji come through the door.

"Hisagi-san, what happened?"

Hisagi looked toward the corner. "I don't know what happened here, but the second we got the blood samples, we got everything that there is to get," he bowed his head as he got back up to his feet. "How many men did you kill?"

Renji's voice was full of sorrow. "Over a hundred…"

"Almost a thousand men died in this battle," he shook his head. "No more. No more games. No more chasing after dead ends. We're done here. We're going home before we lose ourselves…" Hisagi shook his head. "I'm going to send Ukitake-soutaichou a message that entails what we've found…"

Renji could see something was wrong. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Hisagi nodded as he felt another familiar ache roll through his chest, his muscles stiffening at the sensation. "I'm fine…" he took a deep breath as he thought back to that moment. _How did he survive?_

* * *

This chapter had the first appearance of Aizen since his "death" in _Falling Petals_. For all of you who thought he was dead, I'm sorry to disappoint you, and you'll see him again, I can promise you that.

As for the mentioning of Ichimaru/Kira, that is going to become another majorly mentioned pairing in this story (so brace yourself.)

The war is also over, so the next chapter will be talking about what will happen after the troops come home and the last chapter before _Broken Wings_.

Like what you read? Feel free to Private Message me a request (see profile for details).

Also feel free to leave a review, I take every word that you say to heart, and they make my day.

And if you haven't already support this story in the polls for faster updates (polls will remain open until the story's close).


	11. Chapter 11

**Pairings:**This chapter contains Hisagi/Kira, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, slight Hisagi x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, and a reference Ichigo x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:**There is also some OOC, strong language, talk of war, references to violence, and mild sexual content (nothing graphic). There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, I'll probably reread this story and be so disgusted with myself.  
**Disclaimer:** After eleven chapters of this story and two prequels, I still don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does and always will.

* * *

Ukitake stared blankly as he got the news as to what had happened, Ikkaku sitting by his side as silence filled the office. Everything that they had been waiting for, everything that they had wished would happen was now upon them. After countless weeks of waiting, they had finally found their answer they were finished.

"They're coming home," Ukitake breathed. "They're finally coming home…"

Ikkaku watched as the emotion was overtaking his captain. "Both of them? Abarai and Hisagi both survived the whole thing?"

Ukitake took a deep breath. "They're coming back… in a week they'll be back with us…"

Ikkaku raised and eyebrow. "A week?"

"There are many injuries that have to be taken care of. Isane-kun is going to be hard at work for the next week, and Hisagi is going to have to write up the official report…" Ukitake rose from his seat as he walked across the room to look out a window. "This is it; this is only the beginning until we're able to put an end to this madness…"

"And what do we do now?" the lieutenant watched as his captain continued to look at the rain that was falling against the window, the first roll of thunder rolling through the atmosphere.

Ukitake looked out into the world, something was finally going right. For the first time in his whole term of being the 1st Division captain he was doing his mentor proud. He felt the tears well up in his eyes as he could feel the change fall upon them. There was only one last thing to do.

"I want you to go to the 6th Division and summon Byakuya," Ukitake watched as his lieutenant nodded. "It's extremely urgent…"

Ikkaku walked toward the door, Ukitake's attention going back to the rainy day. "This is it, sensei. Maybe you didn't make the wrong choice…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi lay on a bed in the corner as he held the reports in front of him. The final death toll had come to nine hundred. He closed his eyes as he held the pen tighter, remembering what had happened in the room that day. He could still hear Aizen's words, still feel his presence. His stomach churned as he knew that this wasn't the end of him. He was going to be back.

"Feeling better?" Isane asked as she walked over to him.

"Yeah…" he answered softly.

She sat next to him as he tried to absorb himself into the report. "It's weird; the poison barely took a toll on you…"

"I guess I have Abarai to thank for that," Hisagi sighed. "I owe him my life… and you too, Kotetsu…"

The lieutenant blushed. "I was just the one they chose to lead the 4th Division during the war… I'm not a hero like you…"

Hisagi looked at the number that was on the paper again. "Hero?" he closed his eyes as he thought back to two days ago, remembering what he and Renji had to do as they progressed further into the castle, the blood was still on his body. He shuddered as he thought of the nine hundred souls, all of them losing their lives. "Am I really a hero?"

Isane nodded. "You are to me… and to Abarai-taichou…" she shook her head. "I'm the monster, I made you this beast…"

"You didn't make me anything, we went over this…"

"I was the one who got the heart," her voice was quiet as she tried to explain it.

"I was the one who got myself stabbed. If anything, I was the one who made myself this creature I've become," he closed his eyes as he remembered those words, the taste of his blood on his lips.

"_Why? Why attack you directly? I could simply go back to the Soul Society and kill that worthless wretch that you care so deeply about. The one that Gin had such high hopes for. The one who was in love with him… what was his name…?"_

Hisagi winced as he remembered those words. He was gone. In a single moment, he had absorbed more of Aizen's power, weakening whatever the man had previously. He placed his hand up against his chest feeling his heart beat. He could feel Aizen with every second that passed; he could feel the demonic energy rolling through him. It was never going to be his, no matter what he told himself.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Isane asked.

Hisagi nodded. "Yeah…"

She moved to place her hand on his chest. "Is it alright today?"

"It's been better…" Hisagi smiled as he looked into the lieutenant's eyes. "Going to war only months after a heart transplant probably wasn't the best idea…"

"But you seem to be doing well, you haven't lost it yet," she removed her hand from his chest. "Your blood tests came back alright, the poison is completely depleted…" she looked at the files. "All of your wounds seem to be healing… seems like you're in pretty good shape…"

"For once," he took a deep breath.

Isane looked up from the files. "Are you excited to go back?"

"Honestly?" he watched as she nodded. "Kind of… it would be nice to see the world again."

"You mean Kira-taichou…" Isane smiled.

"I do miss him… it would have been nice to have him here with me," he looked down at the files. "Not necessarily to fight… just to talk to someone…"

Isane smiled broader. "You have feelings for him…"

Hisagi shook his head. "No… he's like a brother to me… you don't have feelings for your brother," he fell back on the bed.

The lieutenant smiled as she walked away. "Whatever you say…"

Hisagi looked down at the papers as he thought deeper about what Aizen had said. _It was when he threatened Kira when I attacked him? I didn't even think. I just did it. Could it be? Could I be falling in love with Kira? Or was I in love with him the whole time?_

He found it difficult to calculate stats, to write down the report. He couldn't get Kira off of his mind. What he had predicted was now truth. He was going to chose Hinamori. He was going to stay loyal to what his heart thought was right. But now he was- no- _had_ fallen in love with Kira Izuru. The choice that he had to make was finalized. The decision had been made.

_One more week, and then I'll be back, _he continued to write the report of the war. _And then all of this madness will be over. Then I'll see you again…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira sat at his desk as he looked out the window, Sentarou sitting across the room. He couldn't work. He couldn't focus. The countdown had started. They only had a week before the fraction of the men that they had sent returned from Hueco Mundo. Kira looked around the office as he remembered the day in the 9th Division, the day outside of the 1st Division, the last moment he saw Hisagi before he ran off to his destruction, all of those moments only made it more obvious to him.

"You alright, sir?" Sentarou asked as he looked over at his captain, Kira slowly awakening from his daydreams.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Kira looked out the window deeper. "I can't believe that this much time has passed, seems like only yesterday I locked myself up in this office, not wanting to see him off, yet now…" he shook his head. "He's back… he's alive…"

"Exciting isn't it?" Sentarou asked, watching his captain fall back into another stupor.

Kira took a deep breath. _When you left I gave you a choice… a choice between me and a woman that you obviously love. Between two people who are going to ruin you. I would rather you be alone and suffer then have you fall into another one of the depressive pits that have become synonymous with your name. Please, let us go…_

He could feel the tears that were forming in his eyes as he thought about everything that he had done to him. How could he say that he loved him when he had used his lover to no end? How could he even look at him after everything had occurred? They were going to hate each other, they were going to avoid each other, everything that they ever had, everything that they could have had, everything they wanted was all burnt before Kira's eyes as he remembered his lips up against Hinamori's. The sin was never to be forgotten, no matter how he wished it would be.

"Are you going to go see him after he comes back?" Sentarou asked.

"It would be inappropriate," Kira answered quickly.

"Inappropriate? Taichou, come on…"

"What are you trying to say, Sentarou?" Kira asked as he looked at his lieutenant.

"I know how you feel about him…" Kira's heart stopped. "I know how much you've wanted him. Even before you were a captain I could see it. The two of you were attached at the hip…"

"And how do I feel about him exactly?" Kira asked with the snort.

"You love him…"

Kira froze in place as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. Everything went before his eyes. After all of the years ranging from when he first saw him, to the last captains' meeting, he knew that his feelings couldn't be hidden. He knew that he was in love with him. His body craved him. He only felt whole when he was around him. He closed his eyes tighter as he felt the first tear roll down his cheek as he knew that he would have to give it all up. He would never be with him, no matter how much he would hate himself for it. The last kiss that they shared, he would treasure for the rest of his days. It was never going to happen again. That part of him had died the day that he turned to Hinamori.

"I do…" he breathed as he closed his eyes tightly. _And that's why I have to let him go… and maybe one day he'll return to me. One day, we'll have the happiness that we deserve. And I'll love him forever…_

He looked down at his paperwork as he closed his eyes. Everything was coming to an end. No matter how heart breaking he found it.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia sat at the desk of the 13th Division, continuing to filter through the paperwork. Her mind was somewhere else, she couldn't focus. Every hour made her anxious, every minute made her want time to speed up. Weeks, she had been sitting alone in the office for weeks. The work piled up, the office had several seated officers filtering in and out to see how she was doing. Not one of them thought that she was going to be able to handle the work. They all still thought of her as the unseated officer who had slept with the new captain to get the lieutenant position.

_When the hell are you going to come back, Renji? _She couldn't focus on the work anymore as she heard footsteps coming toward the door. "Just come in and leave the work on the desk and then go away…"

As the door opened, she wished she hadn't said those words. "Is that anyway to address a captain?"

She looked up as he heart stopped beating. "Nii-sama!" she jumped to her feet as she walked quickly across the room, embracing him tightly. "I thought you were going to be spending all day with Ukitake-soutaichou again."

"Something came up," he watched as she backed away from him. "A mission."

"He sent you on a mission?" Rukia was confused.

"Not me, Rukia: _you_," she could barely breathe as he said those words.

"Me? I can't possibly go on a mission. There's paperwork, the division, I can't possibly go on a mission while Renji is still at war," her voice was filled with desperation.

"You're worried about him, I understand that. But you're the only one who is equipped for this mission. Others could work, but you're the one who would be the most efficient," Kuchiki looked deeper into her eyes. "This is about the 9th Division…"

"What about the 9th Division? Is this about their lieutenant?"

"Or lack there of," the captain sighed. "We found the perfect man for the job, but you have to go get him. You remember him… _Kurosaki Ichigo_."

Rukia's body grew heavy as she heard the name. "You want _me_ to bring _Ichigo_ here to be a _lieutenant_?"

"Precisely."

"Kurosaki Ichigo? To be Hisagi-taichou's lieutenant?" Rukia took a deep breath. "When do I leave?"

"You leave as soon as possible. We need him here before the troops return," the captain's orders seemed absolute. "Rukia… you know that we need all of the positions filled. You have to understand that a division with just a captain can struggle as much as a division with just a lieutenant. You should know that, after all you were part of this division after Kaien died."

Rukia took a deep breath. "He's a human…"

"He can contain Aizen," the captain explained. "You know how strong he is. You know what he can do for us if we use him properly. Rukia, this can change everything. The next war may not be as catastrophic. You'll never have to fear that you'll lose Renji ever again."

"Don't pull Renji into this! Don't pull my emotions into this!" Rukia shook her head. "Nii-sama, you can't ask me to do this. I can't leave my duties and go off to the world of the living to fetch some boy. Yet you have the nerve to throw my fiancée into this!"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you had feelings for this boy…"

"How dare you? I love my fiancée!" the lieutenants were full of venom as she watched the captain smile softly. "To think that I could ever have feelings for a human after I've found the love of my life is something I never expected from you of all people. What next? You think that I only slept with Renji because I knew that he was going to become a captain and I knew that sleeping with him would get me the position of his lieutenant?"

"I never said that. I just wanted you to go get Ichigo. I wasn't accusing you of anything I was just asking?"

"You don't see me asking you act the way you do," she shook her head. "I don't have a choice do I?"

"Yes, you do… you always have a choice no matter what I ask of you, Rukia," he walked closer to her. "I didn't mean to set you off like that…"

She fought the tears that were coming. "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? You weren't like this before I left… and then Renji brings me back and you're different. You've changed…"

"The situation changed," he shrugged.

"If I do this… I want you to promise me that you will never send me on a mission alone with Ichigo…"

He didn't hesitate as he heard the emotion in her voice. "I promise…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Matsumoto walked back into the 10th Division office as she looked around to see that he was not in the office, her body falling up against the door as she thought about what had occurred. Hisagi, the man who she though Hinamori loved more than anything was now non-existent in her heart. Matsumoto took a deep breath as she closed her eyes tightly, the bottle of sake in her hand.

"This is the world that you're coming back to, Shuuhei. It's nothing more bullshit how this had to happen to you," she closed her eyes as she brought the bottle to her lips. "Whatever happened to the words I love you? What ever happened to saying those words and meaning them? Why are we always hurting the ones we love?"

She backed away from the door as she backed away from the door as she heard footsteps come closer.

"Who is it?" she asked.

The door opened. "Matsumoto-san?"

She looked up to see the 3rd Division captain. "Kira? What are you doing here?"

"I begged Sentarou to let me get some fresh air. I had a feeling that you were going to be alone here…" he moved to sit next to her. "Do you have enough of that for two people?"

"I have enough of this for the whole Gotei 13," she breathed as she pulled out another bottle. "Trying to forget something?"

"Trying to forget the pain that I caused someone…" he breathed as he looked at the bottle. "No matter what I do, I'm always hurting him. I guess I just wanted to cope with the agony the same way that he does…"

"Drinking?" Matsumoto asked.

"Isai-san drinks…" he took a deep breath. "I wanted to see why he does it. I wanted to see if it helps. I wanted to see if it could put me in the same mindset. I wanted to see if I could feel him…"

Matsumoto shook her head. "You love him, and he loves you…"

"How do you know that? He has always loved women, and women have always loved him. How could they not? He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life…" he took a sip of the alcohol. "I always wanted him to look at me…"

"Then you've got to tell him…"

"What's the use? I've hurt him. I used his lover to the point where she turned to Hitsugaya-taichou for comfort…" he shook his head. "I don't think he should even have to look at me… how could he when I'm so _disgusting_?"

"_Disgusting_?" Matsumoto asked. "You kissed Hinamori, that's all you did. You just have to think of why you did it…"

Kira took another sip. "Because I wanted to taste the love that he's given to her… I wanted to taste what that felt like…" he sighed. "I guess I wanted too much… bit off more than I could chew and then choked while trying to swallow it."

"And what are you trying to accomplish now?"

"A Hisagi-free diet. I won't look at Hisagi, I won't think of Hisagi, nothing will happen between me and Hisagi…"

"You're not going to look at him when he looks the way he does. Kira, better shinigami then you have tried. I don't think this is such a good idea…"

"It's final… I'm not going to look at him when he comes back..."

Matsumoto smiled. She knew everything that he said was a lie.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So how are you going to break the news to Hisagi?" Hitsugaya asked as he walked along Hinamori's side.

"I don't know yet," she looked at her feet. "I guess I still have feelings for him…"

"That's understandable. He as your first love after Aizen betrayed us. You're always going to have feelings for him," he looked into her eyes. "But now you have to choose."

"Choose between you: the best friend I've ever had and Hisagi: some understanding, gorgeous, tan, masculine, muscular…"

"I get it," Hitsugaya scoffed. "Hisagi's hot…"

"Hitsugaya-kun," she breathed as she stopped walking. "I know what I want now. It's you. You've always been there for me, you've always understood me. How could I give that up for Hisagi?"

The 10th Division captain took a deep breath. "You sure…?"

"Yeah, I am…" she wrapped her arm around his shoulder as they walked side by side. "I'm already getting over Hisagi as we speak. I wouldn't have slept with you if I wasn't sure."

She looked forward as she thought back on the day in the cell when her lips had touched Hisagi's. That was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to taste him. He was always going to belong to Kira. So she walked away from him, knowing she could never look back. Everything she and Hisagi had was gone.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji moved over to Hisagi watching him continue with the report. "How's the report going?"

Hisagi looked up at him with a smile. "I still don't know why you're not helping me. You were in this war too."

"I'm not as focused as you are," he sat on the bed, watching the 9th Division captain's eyes leave the files to look up into his, Renji's heart stopping as he saw the frozen sorrow within them. "You're thinking about something aren't you?"

Hisagi looked out into the night sky. "Going back… do you feel as though everything's going to be the same?"

Renji shrugged. "I guess not. We've been gone for weeks, we've accomplished so much, if we even think that everything's going to be the same, we're being delusional…"

"I don't know if I belong there anymore. I've been gone for so long… maybe they're better off…"

"Better off? What do you think happened while we were gone? Do you think Kyouraku became supreme ruler or some bullshit along those lines?" Renji watched as Hisagi looked away from him. "Whatever man you were before, whatever creature that you thought you were, that's all dead and gone. You've buried him in Hueco Mundo. You're going to get through this…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "You seem confident…"

"That's because I buried the man that I was here as well. I'm not the weak, immature child I was anymore. No one is going to push me around; no one is going to play me ever again," Renji took a deep breath. "You should do the same."

"Bury the man I was and move on?" Hisagi asked. "You make it sound easy…"

"It is easy. I promise you that when get back there everything is going to go our way. No more pain, no more heartache, no more despair, you will feel whole again. I promise you that," Renji breathed.

"Like you said: that old me is dead and gone…" Hisagi shook his head as he looked at the paperwork on his lap. "Dead and gone…"

Renji looked out at the night sky. _Starting now we'll never suffer again. That chapter has closed. Everything that we knew it like you said, Hisagi: dead and gone._

* * *

This was the last chapter of _Dead and Gone_ and I hope you all enjoyed this story. But before you get too upset, the sequel is in the works called _Broken Wings_ (the long awaited story.) This story will go deeper into issues such as: Hisagi/Kira, Rukia's potential feelings for Ichigo, Aizen's survival, the aftermath of the war, and lots of death. That should be ready to post soon (my guess is October).

Like what you read feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

And as always feel free to review

And the poll has closed, new polls will be posted occasionally (thank you for voting!)

_sonicarutha_


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